


A Deadbeat Kind of Beautiful

by nineinchsnails



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional, F/M, Fluff, Fluffy Smut, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, My First Fanfic, Panic Attacks, Post-Pacifist Run, Reader has a vagina, Smut, everyone is sneaky, force kink, graphic scenes with blood, reader has trouble sleeping, readers gender is neutral, smutty fluff, sneaky sans, sneaky spooky skeletons, suicidal implications, thank you, unstable at times, you are sneaky
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-23 04:16:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 38,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6104655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nineinchsnails/pseuds/nineinchsnails
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>aw shit maynnnneee its gon get crazy up in here hot diggity dog</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. On Your Way

**Author's Note:**

> lelelel enjoy

1: On Your Way

 

You have waited for this day for a very long time. It has been three months since the monsters surfaced, and you are almost positive that there are no more monsters in the underground. It is finally time.

           

Time to find your sibling that went missing all those years ago.

           

You’re ready.

           

            It’s four in the morning when you start packing your bag. You had planned to go later in the week, but found that you couldn’t wait any longer. You don’t need much since you know that you will not have to confront anyone in the Underground. Just a change of winter clothes, your first aid kit, cell phone, your pills, food, and a mason jar filled with water should be good. Is there even power down there? You pack a flashlight just in case. You shouldn’t be there for long.

           

            You begin to pack faster as you think of the possibility of your younger sibling all alone in an abandoned world. Uncontrollable thoughts like these have haunted your mind for the entirety of the 10 years it has been since they first went missing. You were _so_ young back then, what could you have possibly done? But recently, when the monsters first emerged, you were shocked and amazed and suddenly overwhelmed with hope. You had checked everywhere the little one could have been, but never found them. But, just as you were giving up hope, there was somewhere new to check, somewhere you had never even seen before. They weren’t anywhere to be found on the surface, so there is only one other place to look.

 

            The Underground.

           

            _They have to be there. I will find them. I will. I know that I will. I have to, this is it,_ you encourage yourself as you zip up your backpack and begin to get dressed.

 

You put on your best sneakers, jeans, shirt, and sweatshirt, and walk out of your house. There is no one to say goodbye to, or anyone that even knows you’re leaving. You hope to be stealthy enough to get around town unseen as well. Your plan is to go missing the same way all of those children from your town went missing within these last 10 years. Maybe, you’ll end up where they ended up if you leave the way they left.

 

You make your way to Mount Ebott. There is a way to enter though the broken barrier, but you feel that you have to do this the same way your little sibling probably did. You take about thirty steps up the mountian when you look at the sky.

           

It looks beautiful. The sun is at that special point in rising where it seems to hesitate to actually continue, leaving the sky to make it’s own shades of pink and red. You allow yourself to admire it for a bit, because you won’t be seeing the sun again until you finally find your sibling. You smile at that thought. _Next time I see the sun, they will be with me,_ you think to yourself.

 

You begin walking again. Everything’s quiet until you hear the snapping of a stick behind you followed by a scurry of feet. You turn around, only to find nothing… as usual.

 

Your therapist says that you’ve just been paranoid since the monsters surfaced, and that it has to do with the mix of excitement and anxiety you have about the Underground having something to do with the missing children. No one believes you when you say that’s where they must have gone, which is also frustrating. Even other families who lost their youngest ignore you… but you’re just _so_ sure. The only person who believes you is your elderly neighbor, who also claims to hear trees whispering to him, but any support you can get is appreciated. You’re positive it couldn’t have only been Frisk.

 

Your therapist says that it is normal for people to get paranoid when there are sudden promises and expectations to uphold in one’s life. She explained that that’s why you had been feeling as though you were being stalked sometimes- every now and then in the past three months you would randomly feel things likes eyes on you, or hear things like foot steps behind you, even in your own house. Surprisingly, the feeling didn’t really scare you.

 

Somehow, it comforts you, as if some guardian spirit is watching over you.

 

But sometimes, especially when you are trying to sleep… it’s painfully terrifying, to the point where you don’t move for entire sleepless nights.

 

Supposedly, it’s in your head. That’s why she prescribed you the pills. You’re not so sure if they’ve been working though, because it clearly hasn’t stopped.

 

You do your deep breathing for a minute, and continue up the mountain. Your legs burn like hell from all the climbing, but you brush it off, keeping yourself focused on the top while counting your movements. Every step gets you closer.

 

Finally, you reach the top of the mountain. You walk a bit further, your heart pounding with excitement. _This is it._ You think to yourself. _I’m finally going to find them._

“I’m coming. You won’t be alone ever again,” you say out loud. Your neighbor once said to you to never say your hopes out loud, because you never know who’s listening, but hearing the words gives you more confidence than just thinking them. The old man would surely forgive you. There is a wide hole in front of you, and you turn to face your town one last time before you jump down.

 

You wonder why you had never climbed Mt. Ebott before. Everything looks so simple and small from where you’re standing, even the buildings an-

 

You feel a sudden hard tug on the hood of your sweatshirt and begin to fall backwards into the abyss.


	2. I Think I Know Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shits gon get real brah

 

            You are flying downwards, head first, into a hole that somehow seems deeper than the mountain. You can somewhat see the top you fell from, and can almost make out a hand reaching down to you, but it’s hard to tell while you’re falling so fast, body twisting, mind racing, and breath unsteady.

 

            You expect to break your back and be forced to continue by dragging yourself by your arms (which you would do), but a thick patch of yellow flowers break your fall. You lay there for a few minutes, closing your eyes and catching the wind that was knocked from you. You turn to your side to reveal an entrance to another room. The place you’re in is lit by the daylight of the surface, but it is time to say goodbye. You walk into the next place with caution.

 

Everything is very quiet.

 

            You see a patch of grass, but everything else is too dark. You can’t even make out where the walls are, if there are any walls, but you do see another entrance. Before making your way over, you look around the room a bit more. You don’t want to miss anything.

           

            There aren’t footprints other than yours in the thick layer of dust that has accumulated on the floor since the monsters left. You run your finger through it. Gross. Why did you even do that? For dramatic effect? You suppose so. You take one more quick look around the room, sigh, and start to exit when you hear a small voice.

           

“I was planning on staying hidden, but it was almost like you were looking for someone.” Your heart stops. Slowly, you turn around to see another flower that wasn’t there before. A flower… with a face? It’s eyes look up at you, grief stricken and empty.

 

“Is it me?” It says. “Are they finally looking for me?” You hadn’t seen a monster anything like this one on the surface, but you weren’t about to judge him. You weren’t sure how to answer.

 

“What’s your name?” you say. Your voice is shaking. He seems to take notice.

 

“I’m… Flowey. Flowey the Flower. What’s your name?”

 

“I’m .” You say. “Who… why are you down here still? All of the monsters are on the surface…” you trail off. He looks sad. Duh, he probably already knows all the monsters are on the surface. He was clearly abandoned. Poor kid. He keeps his eyes in the floor with that same, dead look on his face.

 

You take out your water jar. Sadly, you dump most of the water into the dirt where the flower is, leaving only about a fourth of it full. You hesitantly take your hands to the muddy ground and carefully up-root the flower.

 

“What are you doing?” asks the flower. You place him and his roots in the jar and fill the rest of it with dirt. You give him a reassuring smile and stroke a petal of his, your best attempt at comforting what can only be another lost child.

 

“I’m taking you with me.” You phrased your plan as simply as you could. You were going to bring this child to whomever it knew. When the monsters surfaced, a lot of them stayed in your town. There has to be someone out there that misses this kid. And if not, you’ll keep looking.

 

The flower looked partially grateful, partially sad, and partially creeped out. You didn’t really care. He didn’t say much.

 

“Th.. thank you .” You smile, still a little shocked that you were never alone in that room… You begin to contemplate the idea that if one monster stayed, more could be waiting ahead.

 

The thought of someone holding your younger sibling captive crossed your mind. If that were the case, you’d be ruthless. You’d tear them to bloody shre…

 

 _No. Not right now. I am going to find them. They are going to be safe._ You take a deep breath and continue onwards though the next entrance.

 

You are amused when you find a bright purple room with a staircase and another entrance. You expected another dark corridor, but this is much nicer.

 

            You walk a few steps when you see something shining under all the dust. You look closer and see that it’s a star-shaped thing, when you suddenly hear a step behind you again. You get the protective vibe this time around. You decide to avoid the star, and you don’t waste your time turning around to check if someone’s there. As usual, you know no one would be.

 

            Flowey tells you that this place is called the Ruins. You ask him why, and he says he’s not sure, the King was just bad at naming things. You walk through the next entrance and Flowey tells you that there is a puzzle in this room, that there are puzzles all over the Underground. To open the door, you have to step on the right switches. Luckily, he knows which order to go in.

 

            “How do you know all this?” you ask.

 

            “Who cares? I just do.” Okay, a little sassy. You pretend not to notice, and you don’t really mind. You never liked boring company anyway, which is probably why your only friend is the neighborhood’s nuttiest grandpa.

 

            You do as Flowey instructs, never making too much conversation. You notice that he sounds sad sometimes, and then angry, and nothing else. You wonder why he was left behind, and almost ask, but remind yourself that it would be rude. You pass a few more stars and ignore them.

 

You make it to a quaint little house. He informs you that it used to be the home of the Ruin’s caretaker, and the entrance to the rest of the Underground lies beneath it. You aren’t really listening very well. You only want to keep moving forward, even though your feet are starting to hurt.

 

You test the electricity in the house, and the lights seem to work. Maybe the power will be turned off in a year or so, when everyone is sure no one else is left in the Underground.

 

You go down another flight of stairs as Flowey instructs you. It gets darker. You brace yourself for whatever comes next and hold Flowey close. You’re not sure why, but you feel the need to protect him.

 

You’re deep in thought as to how they even got electricity down here when Flowey says something.

 

“What?” you say.

 

“Ugh. I _said_ what are you even doing down here?” You play along and roll your eyes.

 

“I’m looking for someone.”

 

“A monster?”

 

You shake your head. “Nope. A human.”

 

“Who?”

 

“My little sibling. They went missing a while back. And I just… I just _know_ they’re here.” You smile to yourself. _And I’ll be seeing them soon._

 

“…What’s their name?” he asks. His voice sounds flat, like he already knows the answer. You stop moving.

 

“Chara.” You say. Floweys eyes widen at the floor. “…Why?” He looks up at you.

 

“I think I know them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boy oh man


	3. The Way It Feels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter the cold

 

 

            Flowey doesn’t break eye contact. He looks confused and frightened.

 

            “I knew it! Yes! I knew it!” you cheer. “Are you friends? Do you know where they are?” You were nearly crying.

 

            “Actually… no. I don’t… remember if I do or not? Some weird stuff happened and now… it’s all blurry. Everything’s all mixed up in my memories. I don’t know.” You try to control it, but a frown escapes from your mouth. You turn to Flowey and force yourself to calm down. He looks sad for being unable to help.

           

            “It’s okay Flowey. I came down here to find them, and that’s what I’m going to do. I was sure I could do it before, and I can still do it now.” You pat his jar.

 

            You try to seem as over it as possible, but you can’t stop thinking of the possibilities. Flowey _knows_ Chara. Which means Chara _is_ in the Underground.

 

            You begin to walk faster, carefully looking over every room for any signs.

 

            You arrive at a large set of doors. They are huge, purple just like the rest of the Ruins, and look heavy. You place Flowey on the floor as a wide grin falls over his face. It’s the first time you’ve seen him smile and it falls between sweet and unsettling.

 

            You pull on the door but realize that it’s a push door. That was embarrassing. You shut your eyes and push at the door with all your might. You even kick it a few times, and then try leaning against it while pushing as hard as you could with your back. It won’t budge. You give regular pushing another shot. Suddenly, you feel a tingling sensation on the tips of your fingers. It moves all the way up your arms, and feels… nice. It’s moving towards your neck and you don’t fight it and you close your eyes. You hear a soft giggle and Floweys voice.

 

“Stop! I wanted to see them try!” he says.

 

You almost turn around to see who Flowey is talking to when the door opens, making you fly forwards.

 

You’re on your stomach now, on the floor, and you look up. There are broken wooden planks on the floor. You look at the back of the doors you were pushing on and there’s wood nailed to it.

Was someone trying to keep people out of the ruins? …Or was someone trying to keep someone _in_ the ruins…? You look at Flowey suspiciously, and forget about asking who they were talking to. You pick him back up and keep moving.

 

There is another long hallway, leading to another dark room, both in which you thoroughly check for any signs. There is one last archway to go through. You’re pretty sure that after this you’ll be in the cold place you had overheard monsters conversing about on the surface. You take out your winter jacket and hat and put them on.

 

You nestle Flowey under your coat, and exit the Ruins.

 

It’s bitter cold outside. The wind immediately knocks you to your knees. You throw your hood over your hat and tell yourself to stay strong. You are trudging though the snow, calling out to your lost sibling often, each time with no reply. You get a bit further and come across a bridge with bars in place. The bars are too wide to stop anyone, and you wonder why they’re there in the first place.

 

The entire area is an obstacle to get through. You complete puzzle after puzzle while the wind slashes and bites at your face. You pass a couple stars along the way, but restrain yourself from examining them. Your eyes begin to water and you walk with them closed every now and then; it’s easier that way. You can’t see over the tall evergreen trees any way, and continue aimlessly. There are bits of scattered debris everywhere. You even come across an abandoned microwave. You fall often- and it hurts.

 

A lot.

 

Your butt meets the frozen ground again and again and you can feel the bruises beginning to surface. Someone’s laughing at you when you fall, and you ask Flowey to stop it.

 

“You’re not nearly entertaining enough to laugh at right now. It’s freezing out here, just keep going!” Flowey sounds angry, but better, being out of the Ruins. Maybe he just needed to get some fresh air and socialization. You’re happy to see that you’ve helped, and decide not to get angry at his lie about laughing. It was a _little_ funny from a point of view of someone who is buttless.

 

            You begin coughing from the dryness in your throat. Your nose burns. There are a few shabby looking shacks along the way, but most of them were beginning to become piles of wood. Was the wind always this bad down here? You haven’t seen another monster the entire time though, so that was good news. Maybe Flowey really was all alone.

           

            You begin to look for a place to take a break. You can’t find much of anything. Your legs are killing you. There is snow in your shoes and you can’t feel your toes. That’s concerning. How long have you been walking for? Miles? After climbing the mountain, falling, and now having snow stuck to you from your shoes to your hair, you can barley feel your face anymore.

 

            Just when you thought you might collapse, you discover a bridge. It’s got wooden planks, similar to the ones blocking the doors in the ruins. A few of the wooden planks are missing, so you assume you’ll have to jump over them. Of the entire walk, this part has you the most nervous. You look down. The fall is so long, and you can’t see where it would bring you. You don’t think that a patch of flowers will be there to save you if you fall this time. You place your foot on the first plank and it shatters. You watch as it falls.

           

            Well fuck.

 

            You hold Flowey tight and lean over to the second plank, and gently place your foot on it.

 

            No going back now. You keep your feet away from the middle of the wood and focus on the edges.

 

            No other planks break along the way, other than the last one. You’re finally across. You hug Flowey, and you’re so glad he never fell.

 

You walk a bit further; you think you might collapse, when you see a dimly lit sign. “Snowdin.” Hah, clever. You enter the small town.

 

            You come across a hotel, and look in the window. It looks like the walls are black at first, but you look closer and see that they are just covered in spiders. There is a bake sale set up, and you back away.

 

            You walk further and find an igloo. That doesn’t seem too bad. You enter and see a tunnel. Cool. You begin to explore. There are writings engraved in the walls. PAPYRUS WAS HERE BUT I AM NO LONGER HERE. PLEASE STOP STALKING ME. When you resurface, you’re next to a big, cozy looking house. Your face somehow smiles after feeling frozen solid for most of the trip. You go up to the door, preparing for another door fight. You put your hand on the handle and it… opens? Wow, that was simple. You enter the house.

 

            It’s perfect. For some reason, it’s still completely furnished. Did the monsters take their stuff with them? Or was it too painful a memory? You wonder what memories live in this house. You close the door and unzip your coat, the unfamiliar warmth of the atmosphere hugging you all over your skin. You smile. This is everything you can ask for in a place to take a short break in. Just a short one.

 

            “Flowey, do you eat? Or are you photosynthetic?”

           

            “Yes.”

 

            You decide to put an energy bar in his soil and hope for the best. You add some warm water from the sink to the soil as well, because it froze along the way and you don’t want your little friend getting sick.

 

            “Hey ?” says flowey.

 

            “Yeah?” you respond.

 

            “You look tired. It’s really late. You should get some sleep,” he says. Aw, that was nice. The walking really did take up most of the day. Plus, your shoes are soaked and so is your coat. You guess you can take a nap. You take Flowey’s jar upstairs and look around. The first room has caution tape and a sign reading, “DO NOT ENTER.”

           

            You decide to respect their privacy.

 

            The second room is locked, but there is no do not enter sign.

 

You decide to enter.

 

You take the little table from downstairs and hit the door handle as hard as you can, seven times, until the door finally budges and opens. The room is cute and secluded. There’s a bed in the corner, a lamp, a treadmill, and a self-sustaining tornado of garbage. You have no quarrel with self- sustaining garbage tornadoes, so you decide to stay in the room. You unfold the ball of crumpled up green sheets on the mattress and set up the bed. There’s a blanket in the middle of it all, and a pillow on the bed, so you’ll be cozy as ever. You take off your sweatshirt and wrap it around Flowey, who blushes and relaxes. You dig into your back pocket for your phone to set a timer, but only find empty space.

           

“Shit. Flowey, I think my phone dropped out of my pocket when we were climbing through the tunnel. I’m going to look for it.” You look at him and he’s already sound asleep. You plant (heh) a little kiss on one of his petals and go down stairs, shutting the door behind you. You grab your coat and go out into the cold again.

 

Your phone isn’t in the tunnel.

 

“Shit!” you yell. You exit furthest from the house, closer to the hotel. You only have to take a couple more steps to see that it’s right near a wooden box and another… star.

 

You look around cautiously. What harm can come from touching it? It just looks so… soft…

 

You reach out to it and you can feel the warmth around it. Then you pull away only for a moment. It’s shining. When will you ever have the chance to touch a star again? You make up your mind and let your fingers extend to the small glowing figure.

 

“Wouldn’t do that if I were, you kid,” says a voice. It booms from behind you. Your whole body shudders and who ever it is laughs a little. You’re shaking. You try pulling your hands back but they’re stuck in place. You look down at them and a blue light is radiating off of yourself. It’s similar to the feeling that came over you in the Ruins. This time, it doesn’t feel too nice. This time, it feels restricting.

 

You can’t move an inch and finally you understand that you’re completely at the mercy of a stranger.

 

You begin your deep breathing.


	4. Such a Chilling Voice

 

 

 

“H u m a n…” the voice says. The blue engulfs your whole body and you’re turned around to face him. “Don’t you know how to greet a new pal?” His hand reaches out towards yours as the blue falls from your body and you regain control. You’re speechless and scared, but you’re sure running is useless.

 

You put your hand in his. It’s warm.

 

“Heh. I’m just kidding with you. I’m Sans, Sans the Skeleton.” Why does everyone here introduce themselves by name and then species? Monster culture, you guess. Aw, he’s small. He stands just a few inches below you. His oversized baggy blue sweatshirt and gym shorts make him look stocky, and you’re jealous of his comfortable looking slippers. You’re still scared shitless of him, but it helps that he doesn’t look too intimidating. Except that he’s a skeleton. But not really…? He’s more like a skeleperson. Some of his bones seem to be able to move like muscles, like his cheekbones, as he’s giving you a wide grin. You can’t help but smile back. He looks pretty harmless... But you’re not stupid. You get serious.

 

“Hi. I’m           . the human.” You think it might be best to follow monster culture; you don’t want to be disrespectful. He looks at you with two dark shadows for eyes, tiny pinpricks of light focused on your face. It seems like he’s at a loss for words or just quiet.

 

“Okay well… I’m gonna get going. I have to get back to someone,” you say. _Please don’t follow me please don’t follow me…_ You pick up your phone. The screen is pretty much shattered from when you fell into the Underground, but you can still kind of use it. You slip it into your back pocket and begin to walk away when Sans grabs your arm.

 

“Who are you getting back to? I might know them.” He never stops smiling. It’s charming and a little creepy. You’re pretty positive he’s the one that’s been following you in the Underground, and that he was probably the one who helped you open the door.

 

You’re not one to jump to conclusions, and you’re not going to assume his intentions are bad. It’s just best to be smart and careful in this strange place. If you were alone, you would’ve told him straight up that you don’t want his company. You would’ve asked him why he’s been following you down here, but for Flowey’s sake, you think it’s best to not get him offended. You’ve seen monsters use magic before, they all seem to be a little magical in their own ways, but never had you seen them be so… _forward_ with it.

 

“Just… no one. I’m down here just looking for monsters that might have gotten left behind,” you lie. You really hope he doesn’t catch your bluff. You smile shyly and try to get away again, but he really is determined to talk to you.

 

“So if I was a monster that got left behind, would you hang out with me?” he asks. Sneaky little guy. Sneaky little creepy. He’s…sneepy. Maybe this is also a part of monster culture. Just to be friendly.

 

“Well, are you?”

 

“…No. Wait, . I just… I want to get to know you. Not many humans have seen the Underground. It’s cool that you care enough about monsters to come here and rescue some of us.” He is a complete stranger, but somehow, you believe him. He seems like he’s being protective. If he wanted to hurt you, he probably wouldn’t have helped you to open the door to begin with, right?

 

“Can I take you to one of the best places in town?” he asks. You hesitate, but nod. He motions for you to follow him. You can’t hold back the smile you’re trying to swallow down, no one’s ever been this cool or mysterious or… _caring_ about you. You run to catch up and trot behind him.

 

“Where are we going?” you ask. He smiles at you and only walks a bit further to get to a building with the sign “Grillby’s” on it. He opens the door for you and you enter. It seems to be one of the only places in the Underground that hasn’t at all been damaged. It has the faint smell of rancid food, but you can ignore it. Grillby’s reminds you of a bar in the down-town that is always packed. The only difference here is that it’s empty and quiet, which is much nicer.

 

“This was my favorite place to be when I lived down here. I would come everyday. This is where I sat.” He pointed to a bar stool and chuckled. “I can’t believe I actually got out of paying my tab when the monsters surfaced.”

 

“What would you get to eat? Or… do you eat? I’m sorry, you probably get asked that all the time,” you say. It’s hard to keep eye contact with him. You’re looking all over the restaurant; half listening to Sans and half hoping signs of Chara will be there. From what you can see, everything is neat and in place, so probably not. If your little sibling is camping out anywhere, there will be broken things all around. They used to have random, horrific temper tantrums and ruin entire rooms when you were younger, leaving a trail of broken items wherever they went.

 

“Yeah, I eat. If I didn’t, I’d just be skin and bones.” You laugh a little harder than you should have. “Do you eat?” he asks innocently.

 

“I do actually.”

 

“Cool. Maybe you can eat the spaghetti my brother makes for me. It’s horrible. He’ll tell you the secret ingredient is love, but it’s not, it’s 24 sticks of butter.” He laughs a bit and then looks at you. “I think my brother would actually like you. He gets along well with cute humans.” Sans winks. You try to hide your deep blush.

 

“Cute?” you say softly, trying not to sound too complimented.

 

“Yeah. The way you were trying so hard to open those doors back in the Ruins was a _door_ able.” You can feel your face getting hot and you know you must be obviously nervous, and maybe Sans can tell. You can see that every time you blush, he gets more comfortable with you.

 

“So that _was_ you! You should’ve just introduced yourself to begin with. I would’ve asked you to come along,” you say. You’re being honest, too. You’re starting to trust him. He might have just been shy at first, and in need of time to work up the guts to talk to you, which was also adding to his character. What a likeable stranger. With a big friendly smile and a voice that really made you listen, just at the melody of it… wow. Nope. You’re not doing this. You’re here to find your little sibling, not to go on dates. You almost slap yourself in the face but remember that you’re with company.

 

“Heh. I didn’t know how to introduce myself. I could’ve been honest and told you that I’m a stalker-skeleton, but that usually scares em’ off.” He looks up at you as you laugh again. You haven’t laughed this much in so long. You know you should be taking a quick nap and then returning to your mission, but this is a really nice break from all that’s been going on… for 10 years… You never realize how hard you work until you relax a bit, you guess. Sans reaches for a bottle of ketchup on the counter and begins to say something.

 

“Knock knock.”

 

“Really?” you answer. He puts the bottle in his pocket.

 

“Is that actually what you say when people knock on your door? Come on, ask who it is. You’re gonna love this one,” he says.

 

“Fine. Who’s there?”

 

“Ach.”

 

“Ach who?”

 

“Bless you.” He picks up a napkin and holds it to your nose.

 

“Oh my god! That was terrible!” But you’re giggling as you push away the napkin, grazing his fingers again just for a moment. How is he so warm? You are finally able to lock eyes with him now that you know he is a fellow teller of bad jokes. You decide to show him how it’s done.

 

“Hey Sans?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because he had no _body_ to go with.” He immediately starts laughing, and you laugh along. You’re watching him as he puts his hand on his face, trying to stop the laughs, when you notice them stop all together.

 

“Holy shit,” he says under his breath. You tilt your head. He faces you, with an expression of complete and utter awe.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“I.. I’ve never heard that one before.” You can see him trying to think back, trying so desperately hard to remember someone telling that joke, anyone, but he’s not having any luck. “This has never happened before. No one has ever told a skeleton joke that I don’t already know.” He looks away for a second, and then back at you.

 

It’s like he’s looking right through you, and you let him. You feel safe. You feel okay. And somehow, you know that he does too.

 

“You’re _so_ different than they-” he stops mid sentence, and then laughs. “You’re really not what I assumed you would be.”


	5. Getting Honest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hot diggity dog time for a game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took forever to post! Midterm week was a lot, and editing this took some time. But now it's spring break so hopefully ill have more time to add chapters!

You tell Sans that you’re having fun, but really need to go. He understands, and offers to walk you back to where you’re headed.

 

            “That’d be nice, thanks.” You stand up from the stool you were sitting on as Sans follows behind you.

 

            You exit Grillby’s and guide him to your current hideout, passing a library on the way. You look through the windows, but everything is in place. _Thank goodness,_ you think. It would be terrible if Chara ruined a bunch of perfectly good books. You’d have to stop there with them when you find them; you’re sure there’s a book in there they’ll actually like. Maybe you can even get Chara to read to Flowey. You wonder what your little sibling must look like now, after all this time. You smile to yourself, as Sans comes up next to you.

 

            “What’re _you_ smiling about?” Sans asks.

 

            “I’m just really looking forward to the future, you know? It’s this feeling I get when I know I’m so close to getting something I’ve wanted forever.” It’s the best way you can explain it. You arrive at the house while you’re talking. “This is where I’m staying. And I have a friend with me.”

 

_And if you two are hiding something from me you’ll be dead where you stand._

 

Wait what? You didn’t just think that. That wasn’t you. Who just-

 

            “ _This_ is where you’re staying?” asks Sans. He doesn’t seem impressed.

           

            “Yeah! What? Not good enough for you?” you say.

 

            “What a dump.” He starts laughing and looks at you. “Knock knock?” he says.

 

            “Who’s there?” you answer.

 

            “What do you mean who’s there? This is _my_ house.” His laugh gets harder.

 

            “No _fucking_ way, you have to be kidding! Are you serious? _You_ used to live here?” you ask.

 

            “Yep. This is where I lived with my brother and my pet,” he says.

 

            “Your pet?”

 

            “Yeah. I got a pet rock for myself to purposely not take care of.” You look at him and he shrugs, the shoulders of his huge jacket moving up and then down. “I knew my brother would eventually feed it and watch over it. I was planning on getting him a goldfish, but I wanted to make sure he could handle it first. C’mon, let’s go in, it’s freezin’ out here.”

 

            You both enter the house and put your stuff down. You do not feel smooth, now meeting one of the monsters that lived in this house. And being in it, together… it’s all just very uncomfortable. You try to play it cool as best you can. You take off your coat and shoes, but he doesn’t. Should you have kept them on? Oh man, you’re _really_ nailing this. You fold everything and place it all neatly on the floor. This is your best attempt at being “polite”, now that you know you’re a guest in someone else’s house, and not just a… break in. It’s silent for a bit, neither of you seem to know what to do at this point. Was he planning on staying the night here before you two met? What’s he even doing down here? Well who are you to ask, what are you even doing in _his_ house? Are you invited to _also_ stay the night here?

 

            “Which room are you staying in?” he asks. You guess that’s an invite to use his home as shelter.

 

            “Oh I’ll sleep on the couch now if that’s less weird for you-

 

            “Hey, kid, it’s fine.” You still feel bad, and he senses it. “I get that you needed somewhere to take a break. You’re not a criminal. I know you must have picked an actual room before I showed up.”

 

            “Hah, you’re right. I feel like such a creep for this.” You point to the room farthest to the right. You know that there’s a 50/50 shot that the room could be his. You secretly cross your fingers, hoping that his room is the one with the caution tape on the door. “I’m in that one with a lost monster I found.” You look to him for a reaction. He’s smiling wider. Oh no.

 

            “Guess who’s room that used to be?”

 

            “Please no.”

 

            “Yup. That’s where I slept. How’d you get in? I always kept it locked,” he asks. You smile and pretend not to hear, so that you don’t have to tell him you broke his door by breaking his table on it’s handle to sleep in his room in his house that you also broke into… with a stranger.

 

“Whatever, you got in somehow. Come upstairs with me.” He walks to the stairs and you try to move to him, when you feel the eyes on you.

 

            You freeze. They’re burning into your back. You look down and see that your hands are shaking and you’re beginning to sweat. This is different than usual. The eyes don’t just scare you this time either; they make you feel as though you’re at the edge of a cliff and if you move an inch you’ll plummet to your death. Has your heart always beaten this loudly? You press your hand to your chest and look around the room. Sans is already halfway up the stairs and he’s waiting for you.

 

            “Are you coming?” he asks. At this point, you just want to escape the eyes. Your mind comes back to you and you do a fast walk to stand closely next to Sans. Your heart still feels as if it is attempting to break your ribs, and there is a low buzzing in your ears. Sans seems to notice the alertness in your actions. He stops smiling for the first time since you’ve met. “You’re sweating…” he says. You notice that his face goes from concerned to observant. He slowly pushes your hip, motioning you behind him. He faces away from you and takes your right hand in his, keeping his left one somewhere on his face.

 

“Don’t move,” he says. You sit like that for a minute, with the room completely silent, and you’re afraid to breathe. You’re sweating into Sans’s hand and he gives you a comforting squeeze. He backs the two of you into the closest wall, waits a while, and then removes his hand from his face. Strangely, the eyes disappear. He loosens his grip on your hand, and continues up the stairs. “Jeeze, sweaty.” He gives you an empty laugh, as if nothing happened, but keeps his head down.

 

            “Did you…” you begin. You hesitate continuing with the sentence, because usually when you ask people if they feel eyes on them, you never hear from them again, except for your rad old neighbor. You’d be okay with the abandonment regularly, but not now, not with him. You take a deep breath and decide to ask. “Did you feel that too?”

 

            “Ignore it,” he says. “C’mon , it doesn’t take this long to walk up a staircase.” So is that a yes? You follow him to his room.

 

Flowey is still asleep and you point at him so Sans can see who else is in the room. You make the “shh” sign to let him know to be quiet. He nods and walks close to you, and stretches up to put his cheek to yours so he can whisper in your ear.

 

“You sleep on the bed, I’ll sleep on the floor.” He casually pats the bed for you and lies on the ground next to the mattress. You check the time on your phone and plug it in to charge before sleeping. By the time you get into bed, it’s two AM. You collapse on it, and stare at the ceiling.

 

As tired as you are, you just can’t close your eyes. It’s one of those nights where you can’t stop thinking. You have the events of the day on your mind; everything happened so fast. To think that it was just this morning that you walked all the way the Mount Ebott and fell into it…

 

It feels like ages ago.

 

And now, you’re in a room, sleeping next to two strangers, both whom you trust, and admire. You have to admit that you’re exploiting them a bit though. Flowey for knowing Chara, and Sans for protection. Well, that is if Sans even decides to stick along. You’ll ask him when he wakes up.

 

It hits you now that in this day, you’ve done more than you have in your entire life. You’ve been _braver_ than you have in your entire life.

 

You’re proud of yourself.

 

You continue staring at the ceiling and thinking for about thirty minutes, and turn to your side. You don’t know what to say when you notice that Sans’s eye sockets are open. He’s looking at the ceiling too. You open your mouth to say something, but he turns to his side as well. The sockets widen when he focuses on you.

 

“You’re up?” he whispers. You shrug. “And you’re… watching me?” he says. You smile, more confident now that he probably won’t be able to see you blush in the darkness.

 

“You got me,” you say. “Why are you still up?”

 

“Just got a lot on my mind. You?”

 

“Same.” You have a little flash back of San’s jokes at the bar. You smile.

 

“Why are you smiling this time?” he asks.

 

“I’m thinking about your jokes. Why are you _always_ smiling?” you ask. He stops smiling.

 

“I’m not smiling now.” What a wise ass. You’ll ask him again another time. You give him a smirk and look at the ceiling again. He’s still on his side. You look in his direction and he’s still looking at you.

 

“What’s on your mind?” you ask.

 

“You.” You feel your face get hot.

 

“Me?” you ask.

 

“Of course. I’m on your mind too, right?” he answers. You shiver. He’s pretty smooth.

 

“Of _course_ ,” you say flirtatiously. Maybe _he’s_ blushing. Hah. You showed him. “What’s on your mind about me though?”

 

“You fell into this mountain. Took a damaged monster under your care. Couldn’t open a door, but managed to break into my room. Told me some good jokes. And now… I’m sleeping on the floor in you’re in my old bed.” He sits up and faces you. “Wanna know what’s hilarious?” You sit up and lean against the wall, and give him a nod. “What’s hilarious is that I’m really okay with this.”

 

“What do you mean?” you ask.

 

“I’m not _just_ okay with it though, I’m _happy_ with it. I’m happy you jumped down to the Underground, and that you broke my door. I’m happy I met you just a few hours ago, and now you’re sleeping in the same room as me. You’re cool, kid.” Your gazes meet for a bit. You smile. He’s cool too. You feel like the main character in the corniest high school rom-com as you sit there and smile like an idiot for a skeleton, who begins smiling again when he sees how happy he’s made you.

 

“Wanna do something stupid?” you ask him.

 

“Yes.” He answered that too quickly.

 

“Let’s play a dumb game. We get three points, okay? I’m going to ask you a question, and no matter what, you have to answer and then ask me a question.” You had seen this in a movie. “You in?”

 

“You’re gonna get owned, .” He climbs on the mattress and folds his hands together.

 

“It’s harder than you think! Alright. How was it living down here?”

 

“It was okay. Living on the surface is really different, the sun feels great, but the humans… some humans hate monsters. I personally don’t care. But I wonder how my brother, Papryus, feels. He always plays it off as if he doesn’t notice when people don’t like him. I want to know if it hurts him, or keeps him up at night. I don’t know if that answers your question. What’s your biggest fear?”

 

“Immortality. Why do you want to know?”

 

“It says a lot about who a person is. Why not death?”

 

“I’ve always been more comfortable with the concept of death. I mean, with life it’s a million options with a million answers and possibilities. But with death, you die, and that’s it. It’s more definite than life.” You give him a silly face. “Or should I say, _death_ inite.” He smiles and gives you a high five. You hold your hands in the high five position. He doesn’t back away. Is this monster culture too? Being affectionate? You decide not to ask. You’re afraid that if you do, he’ll pull away. And he’s just so warm… “What are you afraid of?” you ask. You can’t take your eyes off of his hand that is significantly bigger than yours. The tips on his fingers bend over yours effortlessly. Neither of you want to move.

 

“So soft…” he whispers.

 

“Hey that’s not a question! You lose one point. Ask a question.”

 

“Well that’s not a question either! Do we both have 2 points left now?”

 

“Yes. Do you still think you’re going to win?”

 

“I never said I’d win,” he says. You give him a puzzled expression. “I _said_ you’d get owned.” He winks at you playfully. “I think I’m doing a pretty good job.” He intertwines his fingers in yours. Your heart beats faster and you can’t help but cover your face in your free hand. You can feel your body getting excited as you uncross your legs and pull them to your chest. _Oh my god oh my god what do I say,_ you think.

 

“Sans!” you say a bit loudly. You look over at Flowey, who is still asleep. You pull your hand away, regretfully so, but you want to finish this round. “Well, look who only has one point left! Don’t just _let_ me win. How are you so bad at this game?” you ask.

 

“I’ve always been a master at being bad,” he says. “Bad to the _bone_.” You both laugh. “Okay, here’s a question. Do _I_ scare you?” He seems serious now.

 

“Yes. But in a good way. You scare me because of your magic, and the power in it. I wonder what you can do with it. Am I at all intimidating?”

 

“You are. Don’t get conceited though, kid. But if you want to know, how about I show you?”

 

You get honest. “I’m afraid of what you’re going to do.”

 

“Well, I can show you tomorrow, let you prepare yourself.” Another wink. “You’re down to one point by the way. How?”

 

“…How what?”

 

“Nothing, I just couldn’t think of an actual question and I don’t want to lose. I actually am getting tired now though. So I’ll show you some magic junk tomorrow?” he asks.

 

“That sounds good. Just don’t get too crazy. I’ve never really seen monster magic first hand other than today. Don’t be _too_ big of a show off, okay?”

 

“We’ll see. Night . Let’s finish the game tomorrow.” He lies down and rolls halfway off the mattress, but gets too lazy to commit to the full thing.

 

“Night Sans.” You try to help push him off the mattress with your hands. He’s heavy for a creature with little mass. As you’re pushing he begins to fall off, but grabs at your hand. You think he might try to pull you down as a joke, but he just gently holds it, rubbing his thumb along your skin.

 

 _Monster culture,_ you think. It’s clear that at this point, that you’re lying to yourself. This is probably not monster culture.

 

This might just be regular old flirting.

 

Shit, this really _is_ some bullshit high school rom-com.

 

A smile folds over your face. _Whatever._

 

You close your eyes and let sleep encompass you.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> psh gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy


	6. Truth Doesn't Make A Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oooooo weeee mamma it's gonna be like hot potato sundai today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i listen to jack white

  _“, you have to be quiet. Always whisper, even when you’re in trouble.” You look to see who’s talking. It’s Flowey. “, you’re breathing so loudly. You have to be quiet or you’ll be dead where you stand.”_

_“Well then we should sit down,” you say._

_“We aren’t sitting. You can’t just sit down. That won’t solve anything. Now be quiet. You don’t want them to hear you, right?”_

_“Right.” Them? Suddenly, you can see the area around you. The room is white and seems endless._

_“I know the room is big, . But if you squint really hard, you can see the walls.” Flowey squints. Oh no. He squinted for too long. He can’t open his eyes. “That’s okay, . You can be my eyes.” You smile at him._

_“I’ll be your eyes.” You look around the room so you can tell Flowey what’s going on. You want to tell him what you see. You see Sans. He’s waving. “Flowey, Sans is here. He’s saying hi.” You look harder at Sans. He’s not smiling. His mouth is gone. There is blue magic dancing from his hands. It looks like fire. You feel your stomach get fluttery. He always makes you nervous._

_“! What did I just say? If you continue to be loud, you’ll be dead where you stand,” says Flowey._

_“You’re right.” You pull your legs off. “If I can’t stand, I won’t die. It’s okay Flowey. You can be my legs.”_

_You feel a sharp pain in your abdomen and look down. There’s a knife stuck in your stomach. It slides across you, slicing you from hip to hip. A crowd of butterflies escapes you. They fill the room until you can’t breath anymore._

_“That’s okay Flowey. You can be my lungs.” You look at where Flowey is and he’s facing away from you. Sans is gone. As far as you can see, it’s just butterflies. You really can’t breathe._

_You hear a familiar voice in the distance._

_“Hi .” You look up from the ground you’re on._

_It’s your little sibling. You are so happy to see them. You love them so much. They don’t look too different, except their lips are blue and their skin seems pale. The butterflies avoid them._

_Your breaths get shorter and shorter, and eventually there’s no air left. You’re inhaling butterflies. You feel your soul fading away._

_“I’m going to die like this,” you say._

_“It’s okay, . I’ll be your soul.” Chara’s eyes go red and a sinister smile falls over their face. They walk closer and closer to you until they’re so close they could touch you. They’re reaching out for a hug. You open your arms._

_“I told you they’d hear,” whispers Flowey, who Chara doesn’t seem too interested in._

_He’s wilting._

_You look back at your little sibling._

_You notice that they’re reaching for your throat._

       You scream yourself awake. Your heart feels knotted and tight, like it’s beating slower or not at all. No one else is in the room. You keep screaming until the screams turn into cries, and the cries turn into sobs. You reach down for your legs. They’re there. You can breathe. _I’m awake_ , you think to yourself. _I’m awake. I’m out of the nightmare._ Tears keep running down your face. You don’t have anything but Sans’s sheets to wipe them with. Your breaths are unsteady and short. You had never dreamt of your little sibling, and you didn’t want your first encounter with them after 10 years to be so… petrifying. The look in their eyes haunts you as you tuck your legs into your chest. What time is it? You check your phone. 7 am. You didn’t get much sleep. This isn’t good. You should breathe. You should calm down. You start deep breathing. In and out.

 

_They looked terrible._

In and out.

 

_They looked dead._

In and out.

 

_They looked like wanted me dead, too._

 

You breathe until there’s a knock on the door that almost makes you shit yourself. You sit there, frozen, until the knocker identifies who they are.

 

“? It’s Sans. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up, I was looking for something other than energy bars for you to eat. Flowey and I heard you crying from downstairs. You sound… tear-able,” he says. Somehow, even after that dream, this guy can still make you laugh. You open the door.

 

“If you make fun of me again I’ll kick you in the _bawls_ ,” you threaten. He smiles and enters the room. You really hope he differentiated between bawls and balls.

 

“Well I didn’t think that you’d cry if you woke up and I wasn’t there,” he says. Another wink. You try to wink back but just end up blinking really hard. Smooth.

 

“It was this dream I had. I’m still processing it.”

 

“What happened in it?” he asks.

 

“It was weird. Flowey kept telling me to be quiet or I’d die somehow. You were there. You… you had no mouth Sans.” You keep your eyes down and sit on the bed. Sans sits next to you.

 

“Lucky you. Some people would pay to have me shut up.”

 

“I believe it. Sans, this might sound dumb and if you say no I won’t be mad or upset or anything, but would you want to come with Flowey and I for the rest of this trip?” you ask. You feel the need to really elaborate that he can say no if he wants to. “I mean really though, if you came down here for something else, do that, but maybe if you have any time, if you’re up for it I mean, you know?” You have a feeling he doesn’t know because most of that didn’t make sense.

 

“Yeah I’ll come. I’m actually pretty glad you asked.”

 

“Why’s that?”

 

“You know how sometimes people feel different based on who they’re around?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Basically, I like who I am around you. And I think you like who you are around me.” You look over to him. He’s the one that’s looking down now. There’s a faint blue dusted over his cheekbones. You almost jump for joy.

 

“Are you blushing?!” you say. He looks up at you.

 

“Caught me.”

 

“Ha! Finally! In your face! You’re blushing! Ha!” you do a stupid dance, because you can, because he’s blushing and you WIN. What do you win exactly, you don’t know. But you did it, you got him to blush. What a loser.

 

“Shut up. Wanna finish that dumb game?” he asks. You nod. “Okay cool, I’ll start this time. Did you know what would happen if you touched that star?”

           

            Pretty intense question to start with. “No. It was just really tempting for some reason. It felt like I was being pulled to it. What would happen if I touched it?” To your horror, Sans’s eyes turn into black sockets, no white pupils anywhere. You feel like you’re choking on butterflies again.

 

            “ _You would never be able to die_ ,” he says. You swallow your fear of him. Is this normal? Should you help him? Is this a skeleton medical condition? “ _Do you understand that?_ ” he asks. You wonder if he’s playing the game, or just asking to make sure. Maybe this is what a monster panic attack is? Whatever it is, it doesn’t seem healthy.

 

            You get off the mattress and kneel in front of him, and take his hands in yours. “I understand. Sans, are you okay?” The light rushes back into his eye sockets. His smile doesn’t change. You begin to wonder if it’s a smile or a mask he puts on to make everyone think he’s okay.

 

            “Yeah I’m fine, kid. Are _you_ okay?”

 

            “Yes. Sans, why do you always smile?”

 

            “I’m always thinking of jokes. What does skin feel like? Having it, I mean.” he says. You know that was a bullshit answer. You won’t ask again for a while.

 

            “It’s like there’s always a blanket over your bones, or like you’re always wearing heated clothing, I think. Um… here, feel it.” You hold your arm out to him and look away to hide the blush. He hesitates, but then goes for it. He gently caresses the skin of your forearm, the warmth of his bones making you giggle a bit. He runs his hand so slowly and cautiously up your arm, to your neck. It feels familiar, you can just put your finger on it… kind of feels like when you were trying to open the door, but better. You look back at your arm and it has some blue on it. You notice that his fingers leave a trail of the magic behind them, so that the places he’s already run over still feel like they’re being touched. It goes around your shoulder, to the back of your neck, and then comes back down to your hand. You’re flattered that someone is _this_ interested in your anatomy.

 

            You’re _very_ flattered that Sans specifically is _this_ interested in your anatomy.

 

            You’re a little… turned on that he’s this interested in your anatomy.

 

            You start to become interested in his too.

 

            You remember to ask a question. “Who’s your best friend?” He laughs.

 

            “I don’t really have one. I don’t really want friends. Who’s yours?” he responds.

 

            “Some old dude that lives next door.” It’s so hard to not to let out any noises with the way he’s touching you. You don’t know if he means it or not but it’s making you _crazy._ You look at him and he can clearly tell. He let’s his hand swim back down your arm, so slow, and to your hand again. He allows it to settle there for a bit and you continue speaking. “He’s cool. I know you don’t want friends, but when we surface, you might as well meet him. Why don’t _you_ want friends? I mean, I don’t really want too many either, but that’s just because most people think I’m nuts for holding on to finding my li-” _Shit. Fuck. He doesn’t know yet._ “My… li…li… lint… roller.” _NOOOOO WHY DID YOU DO THAT_

“I get that. Lint really gets to humans. Human culture, I guess,” he says. Wow. “And that’s a complicated thing for me to say. It has to do with the humans that fall down here. That’s why I put Papyrus’s leftover caution tape around the regular entrance to the Underground, but you took the fun way so you don’t know about that, huh? Have you ever been close with a monster before?”

 

            “No. Would you say we’re close?”

 

            “I trust you, but no. But that’s okay. We’re comfortable with each other most of the time. I’m sure of that, and I’ve only really known you for a day. That’s good enough for now. Why did you pick up Flowey?”

 

            “He needed it. He can be a little apathetic, but it’s just who he seems to be. He’s coming around. Where is he?”

 

            “I left him downstairs with the chocolate we found in an abandoned store. It’s all we could find that’s free and hasn’t gone bad. Wanna go say hi?”

 

            “Yeah. We can bring the game up again later. We should probably get going soon anyway.” Sans leads you out the door. You follow him downstairs. “Where is he?”

 

            “I left him right here, could he have moved?” he says. He looks around the room and his sockets lock somewhere in the kitchen. He takes off his endless smile and hurries over. You frantically follow.

 

            Sans is on the other side of the room, looking worried and confused. You look down. There are glass shards all over the floor. One is already stuck in your foot. A pile of dirt sits at the center of the kitchen.

 

            Someone threw the mason jar, but managed to do it without making a sound.

 

            It’s deathly quiet.

 

            _Are they gone?_

 

And still, only silence. Silence. Silence. And then even more silence.

 

            Could Flowey have done it? No, he can’t move himself, can he?

 

            You stare at the floor.

 

            You ignore the sting of glass and focus on the dirt. Your eyes feel heavy.

           

            _Who did this…_

You freeze.

 

_It was Sans. He did this. He threw Flowey when the dream was happening. He did this. He DID this. Evil bastard. Evil worthless piece of shi-_

  1. That wasn’t YOU. Those aren’t YOUR thoughts. That’s _not_ how you think. You hear a buzzing in your ears. You hold your hands to the sides of your head, knees crashing to the floor, eyes watering and brows furrowing.



 

            _You should make him pay,_.

 

            NO.

 

            _You should make him **hurt** , _.

 

            STOP IT.

 

            _You should break him like glass,_.

 

            “GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” you scream.

 

            _Dead where you stand. Dead where you stand. Dead where you stand. Dead where you stand. Dead where you stand. Dead where you stand. Dead where you stand. Dead where you stand. where you stand. Dead where you stand. Dead where you stand. Dead where you stand. Dead where you stand. where you stand. Dead where you stand. Dead where you stand. Dead where you stand. Dead where you stand. where you stand. Dead where you stand. Dead where you stand. Dead where you stand. Dead where you stand._

“ **STOP!** ” the thoughts were so loud, echoing in the dark recesses of your mind, unstoppable, uncontrollable, and of course they are, they aren’t YOURS, what can you even do?

 

            Sans runs to you through the glass and grabs your shoulders. “! Please! Tell me what’s wrong, let me help you!” he says. But he doesn’t have to. As soon as he grabbed you the thoughts went away.

 

            It suddenly hits you that when Sans is very close to you, the eyes go away, and apparently, so do the thoughts. Maybe he’s the reason you woke up from the dream today. You’re panting but looking right into his eye sockets. You have to tell him about this. But you can’t manage to get much out.

 

            “Sans…” you whimper. It sounds pathetic in your ears, but it’s honest.

 

            “Yes?”

 

            “Don’t… don’t g-go away from m-me, okay?” your voice is shaking so desperately that you’re stuttering. You can’t get out any more words. He looks really worried, like he might cry too, but manages to smile.

 

            “I hate making promises, kid.” Well, at least he’s honest.

 

“But I’ll look out for you, . I…” he sighs. “I promise. As hard as it is for me to do that. And as much as I really _hate_ doing it.” You allow your head to fall into his collarbone that’s padded by his shirt and sweatshirt. He awkwardly wraps his arms around you, clearly not very into comforting people, but you can also tell that he’s trying his best.

 

Sadly, you face the fact that you let your guard down. You have to add another child to the list of people you just couldn’t keep safe under your care.

 

You let out a hush sob into Sans. He rubs your back and strokes your hair, pulling you in closer.

 

“I wish I could make you stop crying, kid,” says Sans.

 

Well, at least you can add another person to list of people that will help you find them.

 

You put your arms around him. As impossible as it is, you smile. _We’re going to find both of them. They’re both going to be okay._

You repeat those thoughts over and over until you believe it.


	7. Icy Rope and Forlorn Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dank ass memes

You can’t tell how long you and Sans sat like that. It might have been thirty minutes, might have been an hour. You eventually get to your feet. You've been sitting on the couch planning out where you would go and when, scheduling out your entire day to find Flowey.

 

He doesn’t know you’ll be looking for Chara too. You have to find them, but now that they’re a secret, you’ll have to keep your mission on the down low.

 

How do you tell him you lied? It’s difficult to admit to him, now that you’re kind of stuck together until you find Flowey, at least. You look at your skeleton friend, who seems different. It’s the way he’s looking at you. It’s not relaxed anymore. It’s obvious to you that he’s… damaged. You don’t want to just be another being that’s betrayed him. “Are you okay, Sans? I’m sorry about that… I just didn’t know what else to say.” He leans back against the couch.

 

            “It’s okay, kiddo. I’m just taken aback. People don’t usually feel so open around me to sob into me, you know? There’s actually something I should tell you, if you don’t mind.”

 

You nod your head, hoping that the something he has to say isn’t that he’s leaving because of your incident back in the kitchen. “I… um, listen . Honesty isn’t simple for me, so I’m only saying it once. Remember before, when I said that when you’re around different monsters or people, you act differently?” You nod again. “Well, I don’t know if you know this, but human souls are much more powerful than monster souls. Even when you die, your soul stays, tethered and bound to this Earth until it moves on to something else, or latches on to someone else’s body.”

You nod to let him know you’re following. This is all news to you.

“My soul isn’t nearly as powerful as yours. I do not hold the physical properties to have the kind of determination you possess. But you- _your_ soul seems to be as powerful as Frisk’s was. Maybe even _more_ powerful. You might have a more _determined_ soul than the human who saved _every_ single monster. Do you understand that? You have so much determination all pooled in one place, that it’s almost dripping out of you. And sometimes, when you feel things…” he trails off, seemingly at a loss for words.

 

            “When I feel things…?”

 

            “When you feel things… I can feel them too. Every now and then. You seem to have the ability to push your emotions on to me. If I’m close enough to you that is. So before in the kitchen… I felt that, . And with the eyes? I felt that too. I’ve only ever felt nervousness or excitement from you. Or fear, like just now...” He paused for a breath. “I _love_ those feelings, kid. It’s like I feed off of them. I haven’t felt _any_ of that in so long, maybe not in a decade. And I don’t ever completely lose what _I_ feel naturally, either. It’s like… it’s like a memory, you know? When you think about a memory and feel like how you felt when it actually happened, but also feel how you feel in the present. It’s like I’m thinking of a time when _I_ was nervous or excited or scared, only I’m having this memory _through_ you, you’re _giving_ to me. I’ve never seen a soul that emits it’s own emotions to be shared among others. I’m not sure if it means your walls are down, or possibly that your soul is naturally radiant, or if it’s an anomaly, or if it’s just around me, there are endless possibilities for this. I want to figure it out. I want to actually record this. _Test_ this. But I want to enjoy it too.” He looks guilty. “Do you feel used?”

 

            “No. Kind of violated? But not really. That was a bad way of wording it, don’t feel bad. It’s like I’m a special lab rat. Shit. That was wrong too.”

 

“It’s okay, you’re lightening the mood. I like it when you change colors,” he says. You touch your cheeks, and yes, of course, you’re probably red as a tomato.

 

“Sans! Okay… I feel… well, you probably know how I feel. I feel _good_. I feel important. I feel special. At the same time, I’m ashamed of feeling that way. Should I feel bad? Do you… feel all of this? Do you feel special through me right now?” you ask. You are being honest, too. You like that he can feel what you’re feeling. It’s like a super power, just for the two of you. Well, maybe not. But Flowey never mentioned anything, so you’ll assume that for now, it’s just for Sans.

 

            “Kind of? That’s the other thing. I don’t feel every little thing you’re feeling. Only when it’s intense, maybe? But… you like it?”

 

            “Yes, Sans. I’m glad I’m making you feel. Hopefully it gives you a _real_ smile sometimes,” you say. “Sans, you don’t have to fake happiness for me either. I won’t do it to you if you don’t do it to me.”

 

            “That’s hard for me. I’ve been doing it for years. It’s like a natural reflex to everything.” Wow, he opened up about the smiling thing. You guess the trick with him is to avoid being too direct.

 

            “I appreciate the effort. I get that it’s hard. The always-smiling thing might hurt you… I don’t know if you should swallow down your actual feelings all the time. I have no idea what it is you’re hiding, or what you’re running from, but I’ll help you out as best as I can and try to understand.” He nods at you. “…And I like the way you make me feel too, _Sansy_.” Who cares, he calls you “kid” all the time, you can give him pet names too. You punch him in the shoulder to purposely kill the mood. You’re getting tired of waiting to find these kids. “Let’s go on a kid hunt.” You leave your backpack at Sans’s; your plan is to stop there halfway through the day. You put on your jacket and shoes and head out into the freezing cold.

 

            First on the list of places to check is Snowdin itself. You and Sans never split up. You ask the spiders if they’ve seen a flower with a face stroll by, and they say they saw no such thing. San’s threw them some money so you could eat a muffin. You thank him, and ask if he’s hungry. He pulls out the ketchup bottle he stole from Grillby’s and squeezes it into his mouth. You give him a surprised and disgusted face.

           

            “What? You want some?” he teases. He holds the bottle to your mouth and makes you anticipate a squeeze.

 

            “Ew! Back off, nasty!” You give him a playful shove.

 

            “C’mon, , it’s delicious! Just give it a shot!” He keeps pushing it closer and closer to your face. You take the bottle from his hands and squeeze some into your own mouth, just to prove that you’re tough. You’ve never feared ketchup, and you won’t now. You keep eye contact the entire time.

 

            “Mmmmm my favorite!” you yell. It’s actually garbage, but you want to win whatever this is. “Where can I get my own?”

           

“Okay, okay, show off. Hand over the only food I get for the day,” he says. You toss it to him confidently and wash down the tomato slushy with your last bite of muffin.

 

            You keep walking and screwing around with each other, sharing a few knock knock jokes to pass the time. Eventually, you arrive at the bridge of doom. Maybe it’ll be easier to cross this time, now that you know what you’re doing. You crack the knuckles in your hands and do a quick squat, making a bit of a joke to avoid the thought that you could quite possibly fall to your death, leaving two children and a friend behind to fend for themselves in your absence.

 

Yikes.

 

“You want to see my magic, right?” Sans asks. That was random, but you say yes. “Okay, then come here.” You stand in front of him. “No, closer.” You stand closer. The little white pupils in his eyes seem to roll, and he grabs your hands and pulls you all the way in. You can feel his ribs against you through his shirt. His arms wrap around you and he holds you tightly. “Just relax, and know that I have complete control here. Hold your breath until I say so.” You follow the rules. “Ready?”

 

            “Ready.” He squeezes you close and makes a kind of jumping motion. You don’t breathe. Your eyes are open and you feel your body moving but all you can see are colors, all around you, bright and dark at the same time, sometimes you can make out a strange face, looks familiar, and a static sound, until you close your eyes and it all stops. You feel sick, and dizzy. Sans steadies you and you laugh a little. It’s like being drunk without the fun part, just the… sick part. Are you gonna throw up? You open your eyes and… what? Are you back in the Ruins?

 

            You look around. Purple walls, the rock puzzle in front of you… yeah. It’s the Ruins. Put your hands to your mouth and smile big. This is nuts! He can teleport?

 

            “Sans that’s amazing! How did you do that?” you say, eyes gleaming. He makes a face and it shows that he’s happy he impressed you.

 

            “I don’t think you’re ready for that story yet, sy.” he says, with a smile and a poke to your stomach, followed by a fart noise. Adding the “sy” doesn’t go well with your name, but it’s nice that he didn’t say kid this time.

 

He cups his hands around his mouth and yells. “Flowey! Flowey, are you here? It’s Sans and ! If you can hear me, make a sound!” You sit in silence hoping that Flowey will be here. You begin walking all over with Sans. At one point, you even find a golden locket on the floor, and you run to it. Could it be the one you got for Chara so long ago? But no, you see that it’s heart shaped. Chara never liked heart shaped things. The one you got them was a circle. You move on. You keep thinking about all of the jokes Sans has told you to avoid crying when all that follows is more silence.

 

            It goes on like this.

 

            It goes on, and on, and on.

 

You circle the Ruins three times. Yelling for Flowey, screaming for Flowey, jumping in the water to make sure he’s not stuck under a bridge, jumping in the water to make sure he didn’t drown, clothes are drenched, hopelessness, more yelling, more hopelessness, hand hits against a wall, close your eyes really tight, bite your tongue, scream more. Exhausted. Throat burns from screaming out his name. Sans says something you can’t quite hear, ignore it, walking, walking, walking, falling into puzzle holes, hurting your ankle, Sans jumping after you, walking faster, holding back all of your tears, staying strong, getting weak, getting depressed, more exhausted, stressing out, breath slowing, no, think of something, think of a joke, but you’re out of good memories… feet hurt, getting scared, getting…tired... Slap yourself awake.

That hurt.

 

Not as much as the hopelessness though.

 

            “Can we make one more run? Then I promise we can move on,” you say.

 

            “, did you even hear what I said before?” says Sans. You feel badly. You’re fighting to keep your eyes open.

 

            “No.”

 

            “I said that it’s been four hours. It’s 6:00 right now. We can’t just stay in one place, okay? We’ll never find them if we don’t move on.” Your eyes can’t hold it back anymore, so you close them. “Listen. There was someone that lived in the Ruins back when we were all trapped down here. She locked the doors that you need to go through to leave the Ruins. She checked the patch of flowers you fell on everyday, every _hour_ of everyday. , I won’t turn into that. We have to go look for Flowey somewhere else. He isn’t here. You checked every corner of this place, but he could be in Waterfall _right now_.” He stops with the aggressiveness and gives you a worried face. “You look tired. You’ve worked really hard. You should get some sleep. Please, .”

 

            _You look tired. It’s really late. You should get some sleep._ You had forgotten about that. When Flowey showed that he really cared for you at Sans’s house, back when it was just you and him. Back when that break was only supposed to be a short one.

 

            You let your head fall. A singular tear falls out, but that’s all you allow. You sit on the floor. “You’re right,” you say.

 

_Defeated._

 

Sans walks over to you and sits down. He gives you a few minutes to control yourself, when the emptiness hits. Your mind and soul suddenly feel the weight of the helplessness and guilt you’ve been repressing for years, for _10 years,_ and they collapse. You can’t stand up. You can’t feel anything. This isn’t the first time.

 

Your brain is doing this _for_ you. Sometimes, feeling nothing and putting up walls are the best way to avoid hard feelings. What missing friend? What missing sibling? All of those feelings are hollow for now. You sit on the floor of the ruins, staring at the wall with a straight face. You try not to imagine if Sans can feel this right now. If he can though, it’s probably not unfamiliar to him. He has baggage too. He probably understands.

He puts his left arm under your knees and his right arm around your back. He places your head under his chin, and lifts you up. You had assumed that his body would crush under the weight of yours, but magic is magic you guess. You rest against him. You don’t really care if that’s weird. He holds you close.

 

“Remember the rules?” he asks. You let out a yes, less desolate sounding than you had expected yourself to. He does his jumpy thing and then he’s sitting on his bed with you in his arms, clothes just a bit damp, nauseous again but you swallow it down and lean in closer to him. You’re feeling cold, but he’s _so_ warm. He takes his bony fingers and runs them through your hair, and you feel yourself falling asleep in his arms. Your body is making you fall asleep; you can’t feel like crap if you’re sleeping, that’s the motto. _This is okay,_ you think to yourself. _This is good._

He stands up and leans you over the bed, laying you down and then throwing the cover over you. “I’ll wake you up in a bit.”

 

            He stands up to walk out but you grab his hand. Without saying a word, you pull him down to you, and throw the covers over him as well. You’re so dazed and tired that it doesn’t matter. You can blush about it later. You push him to turn on to his left side and throw your left arm over his ribcage. Your right arm slides under his neck and you pull him in close, just as close as he had you when he was teleporting. You’re more open with your emotions than he is. You _know_ he must be tired too, because he slept even less than you did last night. You feel him relax in your arms as you rub your left hand over his. You both fall asleep like this. _It feels right._

 

****

 

            You wake up to Sans saying your name. You’re still spooning him. You smile.

 

            “Yeah?” you say. No reply. You look over to his face and he’s still asleep. That’s odd.

 

            You hear your name again. It sounds further away.

 

            Again.

 

            It sounds…

 

            Again.

 

            It sounds like…

 

            Again. Louder this time.

 

            _Flowey._

 

            You carefully maneuver yourself out of the bed, avoiding awakening Sans. He needs sleep. You quietly close the door to his room and begin sprinting down the steps.

 

            Again. “…” You twist your head and look all over, but you can’t find him. You run outside, and see that Sans took your shoes off for you sometime before you fell asleep.

 

            “!” Very loud. A yell. Coming from… across town.

 

            You RUN. You fucking **RUN**.

 

            Barefooted, hauling ass across town, passing the all the books, passing the bar, Passing the spiders, you call out for him.

 

            “Flowey! I’m coming! Where are you? FLOWEY!” you scream.

 

            “!!!”

 

            It’s the bridge. You don’t think. You just hear your name. You hear your name and the desperateness in it, the need, the cry for help, and you’re running. One piece of wood in, two, three, you can do it, you’re almost there, five pieces, keep going!

 

            You’re almost too filled with adrenaline to notice that your leg fell through one of the pieces. The wood scrapes up against your calf and up your thigh, putting rips in your jeans and tearing through your skin. You scream out in pain. Trying to pull yourself up, but the wood in front of you breaks. Looking down now, Oh God, it’s stuck in your leg, the entire piece of wood is stuck in your leg, wooden stakes stabbing at the raw muscle, you grasp on to the rope of the bridge just in time to look down again and see the blood falling from your leg, falling for what seems like miles. It warms up your foot, but shit, it fucking hurts, cry out for help again, someone, anyone, Sans, Sans, Sans, please!

 

            _But nobody came._

No, not that, not right now. It isn’t you. Please God no. You’re seeing black spots, breath is getting slower. Feeling light headed.

 

            _But nobody came. And nobody is coming,_.

 

            You don’t have the energy to try and block the thoughts. You don’t have the energy for anything. There’s wood sticking out all over your leg. Your hands burn.

 

            Everything is going dark.

 

            _I’m going to die like this._

The last thing you see is your right hand slip off of the rope before everything goes black.


	8. Keeping Company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey got any grapes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHY DO I STAY UP TILL 5 WRITING I HAVE CLASS IN 2 HOURS SEND HELP  
> but yeah enjoy

If I fall,  
I will just have to hope  
That I land on the  
Bounce houses  
And loose feathers   
From pillow fights  
Of my childhood.

-Nicole Dawn

 

 

            _Were you trying to get yourself killed?_

_Fucking ridiculous._

_I knew I shouldn’t have made that **fucking** promise._

_**Fuck** you, ._

_Don’t you dare fucking die on me, I swear, I **fucking** swear, ._

_You’re ridiculous. You’re **ridiculous.** You’re fucking **insane**._

****

**** _..._

_…_

_…_

****

**** _…….Please…_

_Wake up, ._

_Please._

_Please… I’ll be right here. Okay? I’m not going anywhere._

_Do you feel this? Do you feel me needing you? Do you feel_ anything _I feel?_

_I feel like an idiot._

_C’mon, sweets. Im dyin’ out here._

_How about a joke?_

_Okay?_

_Going on to the bridge alone was a_ **_grave_ ** _mistake…_

_Get it…?_

_…Get it….._

_…_

_Please ….._

You are beginning to wake up.

 

            “Am I dead?” you say. You might as well ask. It would be weird to just open your eyes and be in hell or whatever, all confused and scared just like everyone else. That’d be embarrassing. You want to make sure you’re dead first. Eyes are still closed. You’re still lightheaded. But you feel a lot better than you did before.

 

Was it all a dream?

 

            Suddenly you’re suffocating. You open your eyes. You believe that you’re alive. You’re on the couch in Sans’s house, and he’s holding you, hugging you, tight, you hear him breathing strangely, is he… crying? You cough lightly and he loosens his grip and looks you in the face.

 

            “, I- I was so- your skin looked so flushed, I didn’t think you’d… Holy shit, , I’m so fucking happy you’re not dead,” he says. He’s laughing. Nervous laughter. He’s crying. Nervous crying. You’re still only half alive though, so it’s hard to call him a loser or make fun of him for being so in love with you or something, just to lighten the dramatic mood. He pulls you in again.

           

            Sans allows you to lean back a bit and then puts his forehead against yours. He closes his eyes. “You’re a fucking dumbass, , do you know that?” he whispers. You smile. Touch your hand to his face. He presses his teeth against your forehead, in what you can assume is a kiss. He’s adorable. Laugh a little but it hurts. He picks you up off the couch along with a bag of ice. The sofa is soaked in blood.

 

“You should’ve put down some tampons,” you mutter out. Sans laughs.

 

You ask how in the hell he saved you from the bridge of doom. He smiles and winks.

 

“Really, Sans? You’re not gonna tell me?” you say.

 

“If I tell you, you’re gonna know how much I care about you. Are you ready for that?”

 

“I was born ready.”

 

“Psh. Okay. So I woke up and you weren’t there, but your shoes still were. So, I looked downstairs, and the door was open, there was snow blowing into the house. So I start to panic, right? I’m running, I’m running, following your footsteps, and then there you are. You dumbass. Hanging on a bridge, saying nothing, alone. Then I see your leg. And then… you fell…” he looks really sad. “You were falling and falling and I didn’t think there was anything I could do. I could’ve lifted your body, like I did when we first met, but you were spinning as you fell. Stopping your body so abruptly as it was falling so fast could’ve broken your spine. And I think you have a great spine. So you know what I did?”

 

You shake your head. It’s hard to keep your eyes open, after losing all the blood, but you really want to hear this story.

 

“I jumped after you, like a bigger dumbass. I took off my jacket so I could fall faster, caught up to you, grabbed you, hoped you weren’t breathing so I could teleport us back to the top, and then back to my house. You weren’t breathing, for while, but starting coughing on the couch. And then I just waited, hoping you’d wake up.”

 

This is a lot to process. You really had assumed he had just used his magic to lift you to the top, easy peasy. “Wow. I’m sorry, I don’t really know what else to say. Thank you, Sans. Thank you so much, for saving my life. I… appreciate it.” He laughs and tells you that you don’t have to say thank you. You thank him for that too.

 

“It looks like you stopped bleeding. I’m taking you to my room okay? I put some towels down for your leg… I’m going to… clean it, okay?” he says. He seems really nervous. You’re fading in and out of being asleep and being awake.

 

You arrive in his room. He gently lays you down on the bed and he’s acting kind of awkward, eye sockets focusing on corners of the room. Your body chooses to be awake, because you don’t want to miss him acting this way. Nervous and awkward were your things, mysterious and cool are his. Why is he acting so weird?

 

You look down and get a hint as to why Sans doesn’t seem normal.

 

Your left leg looks like shredded beef. Your hands have rope burn and it hurts like hell to move them. You can’t see it too well under the tears in your pants, but there might even still be wood chunks in there. The pain sets in. It stings, but not badly enough to cry.

 

“I am so sorry Sans. I heard someone calling my name. It was Flowey. Or, it sounded like him, I think. So naturally, I ran an-”

 

“It’s fine, . You don’t have to explain yourself. Not right now at least. But… um…” his cheeks flush blue. You smile.

 

“What?”

 

“, I have to take your pants off.” He grins at you kind of apologetically. “Sorry kid, I wanted to do it before, but you were unconscious, I couldn’t just do that, I had to wait, but now I have to hurry, it looks really bad.” Is he saying sorry for not taking your pants off _earlier??_ “Okay, so can I… can I, like…. Can I…. you know…” he sighs. “I’m going to do this _slowly_ , okay?”

 

Well. Sans is going to undress you. You guess that’s that then. You always knew a skeleperson guy would do this one day. Not really, but if you don’t make jokes to yourself right now, you might show how you’re actually pretty okay with this happening.

 

“Okay,” your voice is shaking. _Get it together._ “This isn’t weird, it’s just to clean my leg, and you don’t have to feel badly about it. Go ahead.” You go to unbutton yourself but it burns when your palms rub against themselves. Your face cringes and you pull your hands away.

 

Sans hands you the ice bag. “Just hold on to this.” You take it and it soothes your hands. You smile. It feels nice, and you lean back on the mattress, completely lying down.

 

Then, you feel something at your waist. It’s Sans.

 

He’s undoing your pants.

 

He seems calmer now, more in control, maybe he’s doing what you do and is just making a joke out of the whole thing. He wraps his arm under your back and lifts you up a bit. Slowly, carefully, he pulls the backside of your pants down. He looks at you for approval and you smile and nod. You can’t help but laugh a little. He does too, and gets back to work.

 

He tugs at the zipper of your pants, pulling them downwards. They’re sticky against your legs. It hurts to separate them, but you bear with it. He’s being so gentle, you don’t want him to feel like he’s hurting you.

 

His hand is getting lower, so slowly, and you try wiggling to help him but you just end up pushing him right between your legs, as the area between the tip of his finger to his knuckle, ever so softly, grazes the part of your underpants that lies just above your clit. A small gasp comes out of you, waves of energy flowing through you so you close your eyes, you hope he doesn’t notice, and instinctually, you arch your back a little bit.

 

“I’m sorry , does it hurt your leg? I can go slower if that’s better,” asks. You shake your head, secretly hoping that he _does_ go slower, maybe he’ll take more time between your legs. You have to stop yourself from grinding against him. You’re super weird. “It’s okay, they’ll be off soon.” He continues down your leg. Every now and then you hiss in pain and he whispers kind words of apology to you, and continues again.

 

“Can I try something?” he asks.

 

“Yes.” _You_ answered that a little too quickly this time.

 

He smiles. His hands both go blue, and he spreads your legs apart as he moves himself between them. His back faces your right leg and he’s facing your injured one, pants only a little of the way down, just above your knee. He helps you slowly bend your knee, and he puts his legs under.

 

“I haven’t done this in a very long time.”

 

You see something glowing in his left eye, and it’s the blue magic, why is that happening? It’s cool though, so you don’t question it. His hands are completely ablaze with that awesome blue steamy fire, and he let’s you know not to worry, he washed them when you guys got back.

 

He glides his hands from your ankle to your upper thigh. It’s the most soothing thing anyone’s ever done for you. The pain almost completely goes away, allowing you to focus on how dangerously close his hands are to your underwear; every time he goes up he touches them a bit and you pray that he can’t tell how your body is reacting to this. Is his reacting at all? He runs the blue up and down.

 

This is something no hospital can do. You watch as the blue magic spreads over your entire leg, and lifts out the pieces of wood painlessly, even simpler than picking out a splinter. Is this telekinesis? At this point, you’re less surprised. This magic skeleton can do everything. Even facing it now, he’s gotten you to… _admire_ him in a strong way. Which is magic at it’s best. You feel guilty for getting so distracted from your mission, but repress it. If you think into it now you’ll break down. Your leg feels so much better without the wood pieces stuck in it. It’s a great relief.

 

“I used to _only_ use my magic for healing, you know.”

 

            “Yeah?”

 

            “Yup. I was good at it too.”

 

            “Are you saying this is not good?” you ask.

 

            “It’s good for human standards, but before, back when I had a real job, I would’ve been able to touch this for two minutes and you could walk with no pain. I didn’t even know I could use my magic for anything but healing before a human fell. You should be able to walk after this, but not for four hours straight again. You have to go easy.”

 

He pulls the pants the rest of the way down, warm phalanges sweetly stroking your good leg to soothe you the entire time. They fall to your ankles, and he pulls them off. Your leg isn’t as terrible as you thought it would be, now that the torn jeans are off. There are some deep cuts, but as Sans puts magic in your leg, it feels like static, they shrink quite a bit, but they're still there. “I have gauze in here somewhere to keep the cuts from reopening, Papyrus was a mummy for Halloween one time, I’m sure I can find it later.” You smile at him. He keeps the blue swimming all over your leg, relaxing you. You direct him to your first aid kit downstairs in your bag, and he brings it up. The alcohol wipes burn like fucking hell, but you clench your teeth and ball your fists. Sometimes you scream out “Fuck!” but other than that you’re handling this very well.

 

            Strangely enough, you’re pretty comfortable pantsless around Sans. He seems to have come around to it too. You’re tired, but still excited with the way he was touching you before.

 

            “Sans? What time is it?” you ask.

 

            “It’s 1:00 AM. Don’t even think about asking to go out in search of the flower, I swear if you do I’ll… make you fall asleep.”

 

            “Can you actually do that?”

 

            “You don’t want to risk it, do you ?”

 

            “ _Fine_. I wasn’t going to ask anyway. Did you find the gauze?” you ask.

 

            “Yep. Ready to be a mummy, dumby?”

 

            “Oh shut up. And yes I am.” He wraps the gauze all over your leg, like a cast but softer. Now you two are just sitting there. You catch him glancing over at you, mostly at your legs and the area just above them. You allow him.

 

            “Wanna finish that game finally?” he asks.

 

            “That’s been going on forever! But do _you_ want o finish it?” you say.

 

            “I’m taking that as a yes.” He takes your hand and does some healing magic again. “Can you tell me something?”

 

            “Yeah. What do you want to know?”

 

            “What’s your favorite memory?”

 

            “That’s tough. I don’t have many good ones. Most of my memories are just… me looking for things and not being able to find them. Can I tell you my favorite color instead?”

 

            “No. How about you tell me how you feel right now?” he asks.

 

            “That’s also complicated. I feel good right now. I’m in pain, but I’m glad I’m not dead I guess. But I’m pushing away that fact that I have to go look for Flowey… How do you feel right now?”

 

            “No, . I want to know how you feel _right now_. In this room with me, being taken care of. Can you tell me that? And I want to know how you feel before I say. You aren’t currently emitting anything, so I have to ask.”

 

            You smile. Should you just tell him? Why not, right? “I’m feeling kind of into you.” He jokingly puts his hand over his mouth and gasps. “I think you already know that though. Am I right?”

 

            He shrugs. “Yeah you’re right. I’m feeling that too. Can I tell you something?” he asks. You love how innocent this is. It’s nothing intense, it’s so comfortable, you’re so comfortable with him, goddamn. He’s so real, and complicated, and laid back, you want to hang out with him all the time when you get on the surface.

 

            “Yes you can. What is it?”

 

            “I’ve _been_ feeling that since we hung out at Grillby’s. I’ve only known you for two days, and I feel really good around you. I love the way you make me feel. And I feel like I don’t always need to talk around you. I know I cant do to you what you do to me, I can’t make you feel what I’m feeling, but I do know that you must get vibes from me, right?”

 

            “Right. And yeah, me too. Actually, the first night, at Grillbys, I was afraid we were on a date, but kind of happy with it too. I guess I have a…” you make a dramatic pause and look away, and then look back with big sexy eyes, like that robot monster on TV. It’s so corny, but perfect and funny for right now. “…crush on you then. Are you cool with that?”

 

            He laughs. You laugh too. This is so weird but so great. It doesn’t matter if he says yes or no at this point. You’re just diggin his company.

 

            “I am cool with that. Have you ever had a crush on someone before?” he asks.

 

            “Yeah, but it always end in flames. I really brought the _heat_. You?”

 

            “Yeah. And yeah, flames. Have you ever loved someone before?”

 

            “I love Flowey. I love my neighbor. I think I love the underground. I have loved people romantically, but not so much in recent years. I’ve been kinda preoccupied. You?”

 

            “I have. Romantically, not so much. But I love my brother. And I love Toriel, who took care of the ruins. They’re the top of my list. I never had time for _romance_ romance, you know? I was pretty busy down here, too. Trying to figure out alternatives to break the barrier. And up my sales for my hot dog business. Do you like cartoons?”

 

            You both forget that you were even playing the game after a while. It gets into a deeper conversation. Never once forcing a question and answering honestly as best as you two both can. You learn that Sans had a friend once, who disappeared. You tell him you had a friend who disappeared too. He doesn’t know it’s Chara. You’re ready to tell him, but you’re enjoying the conversation, so you save it for later. As you’re talking, he lies down next to you. When you bring up the way you grew up, he takes your hand. It’s not your favorite story. Times were hard. You never open up about this… he rubs it softly. Brings it to his mouth and kisses each of your fingers. He calls you sweets, which you vaguely remember from being passed out, and you like it. Calls you cupcake, calls you sweetheart. You mockingly call him princess, and he kisses your forehead. He tells you how he pretty much single handedly raised his younger brother. How much he loves him. How he hopes he’s enough of a role model for him. It reminds you of how you feel towards Chara, the length you would go to get them back, and you’d do anything, anything at all. Sans says that he’s had to go through a lot to get his brother back. Pap is hopeful, which means vulnerable. You turn to your side as Sans faces the ceiling and tells you a story of some kid that made fun of him for drinking ketchup when he was little. It’s funny. You tell him how you used to carry binoculars everywhere you went because it made you feel like you had supervision. He tells you about the monster in his town that committed suicide a long time ago. How it really fucked everyone in the Underground up. You listen intently, and notice that Sans seems to care a lot about other beings. You bring that up, and ask him about it.

 

            “I think I care about them. But that’s the problem. Always be in a ‘fuck everybody’ mentality, sweetie pie. Most beings are predictable as hell, you wouldn’t believe it.” You don’t respond, hoping that’ll make him talk more. He does. “When you don’t care about anything, you have nothing to loose. When you care about someone or something, you have everything to loose. It’s a lot easier for the world to say ‘fuck you, Sans,’ if you give it something to screw you over with. That’s why realizing that I care so much about Pap, Toriel, and now you, is hard shit. It can all be gone in seconds. That’s terrifying. I would never be able to say goodbye. So, I never let my guard down. Except for right now, actually.”

 

            He takes your left arm and throws it over himself as he turns to his side to face you. He asks if you think he’s creepy or ugly looking, just out of curiosity. A lot of humans jump when they see him, which he finds hilarious. “I’m like 9 inches tall.” You tell him no, that you could care less what body his soul was sentenced to, that often you feel like _your_ body is just a skin cage, that you’d like him if he was a talking cactus. You allow yourself to tell him that you think he’s beautiful. He agrees, and then says he has always wanted to be a talking cactus, and did you read his diary when he wasn’t looking? Then he tells you about a talking mushroom you’d have to visit in Waterfall. You like the sound of that. He puts his arm around you too. His body inches closer to yours. You rest your forehead against his. Tell him he’s important to you. He says you’re a compassionate person.

 

            “Sometimes I get anxious that tomorrow I’m going to wake up and you’ll have forgotten all about me and we’ll be strangers again,” he says. You put your hand under his shirt, run your fingers up and down his vertebrae, and you feel him shudder as he starts sketching patterns into your back with his fingers.

 

            “I’m scared of that too. I’m kind of relieved that you’re scared of it.”

 

            “Really?” he asks. “Why?”

 

            “It shows we actually care about each other a lot. Let’s just promise that if that ever happens, then the person who remembers will reintroduce themselves and it won’t be weird. We should have a code word for that, like a word to jot our memory…. The code word is ‘fuck boy’, okay?”

 

            “Boo, that’s not creative. The code word should be boy fuck, like if there was a superhero called ‘Boy Fuck,’ or like when you lose your wallet and you say, ‘Boy! Fuck.’”

 

            “Okay, agreed. That would be your name if you were my sidekick.”

 

            “Oh yeah? Side kick?”

 

            “ _Oh_ yeah. Sorry Sans, but I’m the hero here.” You stick your tongue out. Hmm… does he have one of those?

 

            “Well, I guess I would be the side kick then, because those legs won’t be able to kick for a while.” He strokes your hair again. He lays another kiss on your forehead, down to your cheek, making you blush and smile, and then sits up to work on your leg some more.

 

            He looks at you as he does it. “, I’m going to ask you something because I trust you, okay?” he asks.

 

            You think you know what it is. “Sure.”

           

            “What did you really come down here for?”

 

Yup.

 

He’s not stupid. He can probably tell when people lie. You do want to help any monsters you can, but there’s a soul reason you came to the Underground. You’re ready to tell him. You take a deep breath.

 

           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol here's my tumblr  
> be my friend  
> http://bandaidarms.tumblr.com/  
> might post some art ive made of this but kinda nervous so we'll see
> 
> also, here's the link to the writer i quoted in this, very talented person : http://hellopoetry.com/nicole-dawn/


	9. Being Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really short compared to others  
> maybe youll get some feels

“I’ll tell you, but don’t tell me I’m crazy.”

 

            “Fine, but I already think you’re crazy, babe,” he says as that sweet grin spreads over his face. The pet names are the best.

 

            “Hah. Well, I came down here to find my little sibling. I know that everyone says Frisk was the only kid that fell, but I _know_ it…” You keep it vague, just to ensure that Sans won’t react so extremely to your belief, like people in your town did. You wait a bit for him to respond.

 

            “…You’re right, you know.”

 

            You have to take a second to process those words that _no one_ has ever spoken to you before. “… What?” you say.

 

            “You’re right. About the kids.” He hasn’t stopped touching your leg and said that so simply. “But if we had told the humans what happened to those kids…” he pauses. You clench your jaw.

 

_If we told the humans what happened to those kids…_

 

Your little sibling.

 

Chara.

 

What. About. Chara.

 

“If we had told the humans what happened to those kids… another war would’ve broken out.” He keeps his eyes down. You pull his hands off of your leg, which puts out the blue fire in his left eye.

 

“Sans. What do you mean.” It’s nearly impossible to keep yourself calm. You feel your temperature rising. Heart beat getting faster. _Control yourself,_ you think to yourself. _Let him finish… breathe…_ you feel yourself grinding your teeth together.

 

“The only way to open the barrier was for our king to collect seven human souls. It wasn’t always like that. The first kid that fell was taken in by the King and Queen, treated them like their own child. That kid died naturally. And after that loss the King gave up, started taking any souls he could to destroy the barrier. But Frisk showed us peace again. Opened the barrier by… well, no one really knows how. But they did it.”

 

You are frozen. You are cold.

 

You are empty and distant.

 

You are hopeless.

 

“The first child, Sans…” you wish you didn’t already know the answer.

 

You lost your purpose. They’re dead.

 

            You force yourself to look into his eye sockets and he takes your hand. The touch almost burns, but you don’t move away. This… isn’t his fault…

 

            …Right?

 

            “Sans, what was their name?” you ask. And he’s looking at you, must be feeling the sadness radiating off of you, you know he feels it, you can see it in the way he’s looking at you. Completely understanding. Kind of scared.

 

            “Their name was Chara.” The words are bullets through your heart, through your soul, all the hope you had is now shot down, and you think you’d be bawling by now, but your body is almost too weak to cry any more. To think that after all this time…

 

            After all these years, of searching, and searching, and the missing persons posters you made…

 

            The arguing, therapy, sleepless nights.

 

            The eyes on you.

 

            The fact that for 10 years you’ve been searching for a fucking _rotting corpse._

 

            You feel _so stupid._

After all of the fights with the family next door, after all of the kids went missing one by one, as if they were _taking turns to have their souls stolen…_

The honest little kid in the tutu.

 

The patient one that put bows in his hair.

 

The kind one that you used to see walking to cooking class in that apron with their Dad.

 

The one that wanted to be a judge when they grew up, and always had a cowboy hat on.

 

The little girl with the big glasses that always wrote in her notebook.

 

The smallest one, who wore bandanas, who was so brave and could have grown up to be something great.

 

            Now none of them will ever grow up.

 

            None of them, not even…

 

            Chara. _Your_ Chara.

 

Who used to steal knives out of the kitchen drawer.

 

They were too young to understand what blades could do, you always had to take it from them, which got them so angry. The only time Chara really seemed happy was when you gave them that locket with the little picture of the two of you, the picture from the day they were so well behaved, just for once, and they even put those yellow flowers behind your ears.

 

They even _hugged you_. They _never_ hugged _anything_.

 

And the day they went missing, the locket and the knife went with them. You always told yourself someone took them, you tried to force yourself to believe that Chara would never just pack up and go, but they _did_ and now they’re _dead_ because some other family _let them die_.

 

And now you can only see them in dreams where their lips are blue and their hands are colder than the snow in the Underground.

 

You feel this emptiness and loss and despair, like you’re reaching for something just out of your reach, you’re _too late._

 

Part of you always kind of knew.

 

That when Chara was gone, they’d be gone forever.

 

That’s probably just how they’d want it. To frustrate you and hurt you and kill you on the inside. And you’re mad at Chara, you’re mad at them for being dead, you’re mad at Sans for not saving them, you’re mad at yourself for letting them out of your sight, you’re mad at the _idiot_ family that let your Chara _die_. They let Chara _die_ while they were Underground and you couldn’t be there when they put them _six feet deeper_.

 

Your baby sibling is buried below you, way below you, and you’ve been standing on their grave for _ten years._

 

_So stupid._

_So helpless._

And then Sans moves towards you and puts your head on his shoulder.

 

“I’m so sorry, . I’m so sorry this happened to you. You’re good, okay? You’re a good person…”

 

You mindlessly put your arms around him.

 

You’re still feeling too much to express anything for now.

 

He’s speaking to you in a hushed tone, repeating how sorry he is, that he had no idea, and that it’s not your fault.

 

After ten minutes of his soothing voice, his flutters of kisses to your forehead, and his hand rubbing your back, your body allows itself to cry. It’s an empty cry, the tears fall from your eyes and leave quickly, and you never sob. You just let out whatever you can right now and Sans lays you down. Presses your head to his. Tells you he’s going to keep his promise; he’s going to look out for you. You let a faint smile escape your face. You tell him you’ll take care of him too, and that if he ever needs it, you’ll be here for him as he is for you.

 

It’s three AM. You close your eyes, and hope that tomorrow will be…

 

Better?

 

Different?

 

It’s odd. There has only ever been one thing you hoped for.

 

And they’re dead now.

 

You decide to hope that you’ll find Flowey and be able to repress this loss enough to do so.

 

That’ll do, for now.


	10. Getting Over It But Not Really

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING  
> THERE IS A VERY GRAPHIC SCENE HERE  
> GORY AND DISTURBING  
> VERY GRAPHIC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want to say thank you for all the kudos!!!   
> i remember when i got 10 and i shit myself  
> now i REALLY shit myself  
> thank you all so much! i really appreciate the support!!!:)

            It’s one of those mornings where you are awake but your eyes stay closed. You feel Sans, who hasn’t moved, still holding on to you, and you hope he’s sleeping so you can have some time to think.

 

            “I know you’re up, sweet cheeks. It’s late. We should go look for Flowey.” Well, you guess you don’t have time to think. Sans kisses your forehead and pulls you in for a hug. Then sits up next to you. “C’mon, . Let’s try being happy for when we find Flowey, okay? He’d be upset if we weren’t happy to see him, right?” he says. He probably thinks he’s helping. Maybe he’s helping repress your loss, but you’re still empty feeling. Better after a good sleep, but still sad.

 

            He gives you a little shake. You open your eyes for a second, but turn away from him and close them again. He shakes you harder, which is kind of funny, he doesn’t usually move fast. When you don’t respond, he gets on top of you, carefully avoiding your leg, and you’re between his legs. He turns you to face him.

 

            “Open your eyes, . Or I’m going to get serious,” he says. You try turning over again and he stops you. He then grabs your shoulders. “Time to get…” and he starts shaking you really hard, making you head bang like you’re at a concert. “Serious!” he finishes. “Open your eyes open your eyes open your eyes!” he yells. Then he just starts screaming random things. Then, just yells. “AGHHH!!!” He keeps shaking you until you start letting out the laugh you’re trying so hard to hold in, but you keep your eyes closed. This is so not like him, it’s so high energy.

 

            “Open them!” he yells. You laugh but see that this is turning into a game, so you keep them closed.

 

            “AAHHHHH!” he yells. You’re cracking up. He takes your body in his arms and starts to run out off the room, down the stairs, to the kitchen, into his brother’s room, and back out again. He is really _strong_ , running all over the place with you in his arms. He even throws you off of the second floor and teleports down to catch you again, which is what gets you to open your eyes, and you both fall to the floor laughing.

 

            “Sans what _was_ that?” you ask.

 

            “It’s how my brother would get me up for work. He would just start screaming, and shaking me, and yeah, if I held in my laughs enough and really sold it that I was asleep, he’d eventually pick me up and run around, freaking out that I’m dead. He would get so worked up over it, screaming that I don’t have a pulse, forgetting that, y’know, of course I don’t.” He gets on top of you again and cups your face in his hands, pulling in your face for a big kiss. “I’m glad you’re smiling again, sweets. Get some pants on though. We have to get to Waterfall.” He runs upstairs and back down with a pair of sweatpants. You put them on. You stand up slowly, realizing that you’ve been a little too rough with your leg when it hurts to stand. You try walking on it, and it’s not too bad. You get on your shoes and jacket and grab your backpack this time, just in case. Sans looks ready to go, but you notice that he has sneakers on. They’re styled kind of like vans. Sans in vans. Say that 10 times fast. He looks cute in them.

 

            You’re feel your stomach caving in and realize how hungry you are. You have no more protein bars left, since you finished them off in the Ruins. You double check your bag and all that’s left is the chocolate bar you were going to give to Chara when you found them.

 

            You’d rather starve.

 

            “Sans, do you want this?” you ask, lifting the candy to show him.

 

            “Sure.” He takes it and puts it in his pocket. “I’ll find actual food for you on the way.” You walk out of the house, hoping that you won’t have to come back today, hoping you’ll find Flowey and just go back home. What are you even going to do with your time now that Chara’s…

 

            Now that your little sibling is dead.

 

            Gone forever.

 

            You feel yourself getting down again and as you both head out the door, the wind from the outside threatening to knock you to your knees. Sans takes your hand and you both walk slowly, eventually crossing a place that is so snowy you can barely see.

 

            “It’s freezing, Sans. Was it this bad everyday down here?”

 

            “Yeah I know. It’s so cold we might see a politician with their hands in their own pockets. Heh. But no, never. The weather’s gotten more extreme without our magic to counter it. I don’t even want to know what Hot Land is like right now.” He keeps your hand in his, making sure you don’t fall, asking if you want to be picked up or teleported but you say you don’t want to miss a sign of Flowey.

 

            The freezing cold begins to fade, slowly, as you feel the ground have less and less snow, and then none. It’s getting humid and warm. You see that it’s very dim in the place you’re heading to, and you see water falling. As you continue onwards, you pass another star and another shack, and then come across a large waterfall. There are falling rocks, and it looks really dangerous. Although the snow is gone, you assume that waterfall is going to be a very hazardous place.

 

            Sans offers a piggyback ride and you accept. He seems to know when and where the rocks will fall. He tells you that there’s a place behind it, a dry place, and asks if you want to check.

 

            “Of course. We can’t miss anything,” you respond. He sloshes through the water, completely soaking the two of you when he takes you under a shower of water to get to the dry space behind it. You get off of his back and look around.

 

            You see a tutu on the ground. It’s pink and frilly and you know at that instant that it belonged to the honest child.

 

            “Your King must be a really _sick_ monster, Sans,” you say as you turn around and leave the safe space. You’ll walk on your own for a bit. He follows you, saying nothing. You can’t tell if what you said is offensive or not, but nothing you can say could ever be as bad as the death of seven children.

 

            You pass a patch of long grass, so long that you find yourself neck deep in it. There is moss and ivy growing everywhere, getting thicker as you go along. You’re getting plant particles stuck in your shoes and hair. There’s another star behind the brush. You enter the next place.

 

            It’s pouring rain, somehow. Even though you aren’t outside, and there are no clouds. Glowing mushrooms guide the way, and it’s hard to look for Flowey amongst all of the plants.

 

            You’re amazed at what you see. The walls are barely visible under all of the plants, and you have no idea how they survive with out the sunlight. Some of the most beautiful flowers you’ve ever seen are surrounding you. Amaryllis, hydrangeas, peonies, lilies, anthurium, gardenias, roses, pearl blossoms. The smell is unimaginable. You’re inhaling as much as you can and Sans notices.

 

            “Pretty _breathtaking,_ huh ?”

 

            And there aren’t only flowers. Glowing fungi lightens your way. Tundra honey berries and other kinds of honey suckles tempt you to pick them off of their vine and suck the sweet nectar inside them. Forsythia bushes left and right. You take red raspberries along the way, helping the emptiness in your stomach. It’s just… incredible. When you look closely you can see the vines growing, it’s amazing, it’s beautiful, it’s absolutely stunning. There seem to be no bees, or too much wind in this part of the Underground, how in the world are they getting pollinated? And was it like this when the monsters were down here? Or _before_ they were down here? Maybe there’s magic residue or something that’s creating this jungle-like garden.

 

And then it hits you that this is actually not as much of a blessing as it is a curse.

 

You literally have to find someone named Flowey amongst all of these plants. This is the worst type of Where’s Waldo there is. It’s going to be like looking for a needle in a haystack. Actually, it’ll be more like looking for a specific singular piece of hay in the haystack. The other part that’s difficult is that there are other talking flowers, light blue glowing ones, all of them reminding you of Sans’s glowing blue magic. It’s frustrating, but really beautiful. You feel less stressed searching in this area compared to the Ruins. You go to each flower, listening to what they have to say. You hear a passing conversation.

 

            You bend down to hear the flowers converse. “I can’t believe how many echo flowers are growing. Is this because all the monsters are on the surface?”

 

            “I don’t know. Not everyone has left yet. Our families are still here.”

 

            “You’re right. Can I tell you a secret?”

 

            “Of course.”

 

            “I don’t want to go to the surface. I hear if you get lost up there, a human might catch you and take you away. Maybe even kill you.”

 

            “Isn’t that what King Asgore did to the humans that fell down here?”

 

            _Cringe._

 

            “Not every human. I heard the first one died naturally.”

 

            “Really? I heard the first one poisoned themself.”

 

            _Cringe intensifies._

 

            “Who told you that?”

 

            “A talking flower.”

 

            “You mean like an echo flower?”

 

            “No. It was yellow.”

 

            “Oh. Well, my family needs help packing out stuff. I’m gonna go. I’ll see you later.”

 

            “See you, Jerry.” You listen closely for anything else.

 

            “ _I can’t believe I just had a conversation with myself.”_ You guess that whoever Jerry is was talking alone.

 

            You brush off the poison part. They’re dead and that’s that. You want to stop thinking about it right now. They didn’t kill themselves. They didn’t.

 

They didn’t.

 

Because if they did, you might just do the same.

 

So that’s that. They didn’t.

 

You tell Sans a knock knock joke to get over it as you go forward, crossing a thick stream and jumping over it to get to a dead end with a vine covered bench, some old food rotting on the ground beneath it. You ignore your hunger and turn around. Sans speaks up too, offering another joke.

 

“, what do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by it’s diameter?” he says. You wait for the answer.

 

“Pumpkin pi.” You both chuckle a bit. “My friend Toriel taught me that one.”

 

“She seems nice. I’d like to meet her,” you say. He gets quiet and looks away from you. You decide not to ask why. Instead, you look up at the sparking stones on the ceiling. They look like stars. Almost better than stars. It feels like you’re looking at the night sky from underwater.

 

As you’re walking you’re also calling out for Flowey. Sans helps sometimes, but you mostly have it covered.

 

You’re sharing jokes, sometimes catching your foot on a vine and tripping, but other than that everything’s fine. Your leg isn’t so bad. The gauze helps, because thorns on certain plants easily poke through the sweat pants. It was nice of Sans to give them to you, even though they’re a little big. You tied them the tightest you can, but they sag low and you have to keep pulling them up. Sans makes fun of you for it, sometimes going behind you and tugging at the back of your pants just a bit so that you have to grab them quick.

 

“How do _you_ even wear these? I have skin and muscle and fat to hold them up, wouldn’t they just fall right off of you?” you ask.

 

“I’m not a human skeleton, you know? Different anatomy. Look at my hip bones.” He lifts up his shirt to show off his hips. Why is that sexy. If this was the 1700s, one would describe those as great birthing hips. They can probably hold up the sweats better than yours can.

 

“I really love your anatomy, Sans,” you say.

 

“I like yours too, you’re all mushy.”

 

You smile at that and look down. You’re looking at all of the vines, and deep within them, there’s something brighter than the rest of the non-glowing plants. You bend down and pick it up.

 

It’s a thick yellow petal; similar to the ones you fell on when you entered the Underground.

 

Similar to Flowey’s petals.

 

It looks fresh. It could be his, but with all of the plants down here, you can’t tell for sure. You put in it your bag and secretly smile, believing that you’re at least on the right track now.

 

You see your phone in your bag, now not only cracked, but also water logged. That really sucks. You give it to Sans as a present.

 

“Thanks, but I already have one.” He pulls out a plastic bag from his pocket. Inside of it, there’s a phone. “It’s always wet in Waterfall, but it’s never been this rainy. It’s getting into my sockets.” He bends over and water falls out of his sockets, which you find hilarious. You’re both drenched, but you want to keep moving.

 

So you do.

 

You keep going until you have to enter what seems like a cave, but vines block it off. Water is rushing in through the entrance as well, up to your ankles and continuing down through the hall. You and Sans pull apart the vines as much as you can, which is just about enough for you to both fit through. You squeeze in, and then see that the water is higher here. You feel a dock below your feet, but the water is up to your mid calf’s, and only looks like it’s getting deeper. The plants are less occupied here, mostly just a lot of cattails. You walk further, and you worry that you might have to swim for part of the way. Can Sans swim? You notice signs on a wall. They’re written in an ancient language, and you ask Sans to read them to you.

 

“The War of Humans and Monsters. Why did the humans attack? Indeed, it seemed like they had nothing to fear,” he read. It was funny, because you had a lot to fear right now. With every plaque he reads along the walls, you walk further, and the water gets deeper.

 

“… if a monster defeats a human, they can take it’s soul. A monster with a human soul… a horrible beast with unfathomable power.” He points to the last picture, water now up to your chest. Sans backs up to the first one, and says that the human king was a pretty sick monster, too. You look at the last plaque.

 

There’s something very unsettling about that drawing.

 

It’s like a jumpscare.

 

Some terrible creature, with death in it’s eyes…

 

The kind of thing your mind could make up when trying to fall asleep with the closet door open.

 

Reminds you of that face Chara would make when you took away their knives. You scolded them for it, but they’d laugh and…

 

Keep doing it…

 

You hadn’t thought about the _really_ naughty things your little sibling did in a while. You didn’t want to either.

 

A sudden uncontrollable flash back invades your mind.

 

_“Chara, have you seen Rufus?”_

_Silence. They never spoke much._

_Walking down the stairs. Calling out for Rufus. Looking all over._

_The puppy’s food bowl is full. That’s odd. You had filled it earlier this morning. It’s been a few hours, it would usually be gone by now._

_“Rufus!” you call. Check all over. Not in any bedroom. Not under the couch. No toys out._

_You check outside. “Rufus!”_

_And then look into the street._

NO no no no not this you don’t want this you want to forget  think of something else think of something else get it out of your head…

 

But you can’t.

 

Because again, _this isn’t you._

_Blood on the street._

_You run to it._

_You’re shaking._

_There are intestines all over. Blood covered bones. Brain is as good as pudding and you vomit on yourself. The top half is a nightmare. The bottom half…_

_It’s normal, for everything but the cinderblock on the puppy’s tail._

_Dogs can’t put cinderblocks on their bottoms and lay themselves in the street…_

_“Chara…” you whimper out._

           

            _But not too loud. Because you’re afraid._

_If you say their name too loud…_

_They might come._

“Sans! Sans get over here!” you yell.

 

            He can’t move too fast through the water.

 

            _It’s his fault your little sibling’s dead, ._

“Sans please!”

 

            _It’s his fault Flowey’s gone, ._

You cover your hands over your ears. An image is put into your mind. It’s you. It’s you with a cinderblock on your bottom, legs broken, ankles nailed to the ground, laying in your own blood.

 

            A car is coming.

 

            “SANS!”

 

            You close your eyes. _Please stop please stop please…_

_No, ._

The image is still there.

 

The car’s getting closer.

 

You’re struggling.

 

You try to scream but you can’t make a sound.

 

You see Sans far away.

 

Waving.

 

            You look back and the car turned into the beast from the picture.

 

            It grabs you softly on your shoulder and you open you eyes and it’s just Sans it’s your friend it’s your crush it’s not a car it wasn’t real it wasn’t real it wasn’t real it wasn’t…

 

            You’re completely mortified.

 

            “Shh, , it’s okay, it isn’t real, you’re right here, you’re in my arms, you’re safe and it wasn’t real…” he says, gently stroking your back, holding you close, putting your head in the cushiony spot between his hood and neck. It sounds like he’s saying it to himself too.

 

You breathe. You allow Sans to hold your body in his arms as the water rushes beneath you. 

 

It's okay.

 

It's over, for now.

 

“I know, Sans, it is okay, it’s okay when you’re close to me. Whatever this is, it’s getting stronger. Before, we’d just have to be close to each other. Now, we have to be right next to each other. I’m sorry Sans, I know it’s probably a pain in the ass for you.”

 

            “Are you kidding? This is the best excuse to keep you in my sight at all times.” He gives you a wink. “You’re great to look at, .” A deep blush rushes to your face and you kiss him. You pull away, but he pulls you back in for a big one.

 

            “Next time this happens, let’s just make out for hours, turn you on as much as possible, and really make whatever that fucking voice is feel like the biggest third wheel of all time,” he says. “I know I wouldn’t want to be in your head if I was making out with you.”

 

            “Oh yeah? Why not?”

 

            “Your thoughts would be _out of control_.”

 

            It was starting to happen right now actually. “Yeah? Why?”

 

            He leans in to whisper in your ear. “I’m pretty good at it.”

 

            “Pretty good for a guy with no tongue.”

 

            “Is that what you think?” Another wink.

 

            You think this is working, because Sans is right.

 

            Your thoughts _are_ out of control, but this time, in a fun way.

 

            “C’mon, sweets. We don’t have to take a break yet, as much as I’d like to. Let’s get moving.”


	11. The Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yer ganna have a confrunt m88888

           You try to forget about your puppy. You try to forget about everything, but it still disturbs you, festering in the back of your mind. You look out in the distance, and see that the water is going to be too deep to walk in soon. You’ll have to swim for a bit.

 

            “The water get’s really deep here…” says Sans. He looks worried. You guess that the docks were built low to the ground, or that the water used to be shallow. The water is at the same level, but the floor below is the problem.

 

            “What’s wrong?” you ask.

 

            He runs his hand through the water.

 

            “I can’t swim,” he whispers. “The water goes right through my bones. I just sink to the bottom. Don’t tell anyone that, it’s my only weakness. Seriously. If that gets out, Pap will be really upset.”

 

You nod and test how deep it’ll be here. There’s a little platform to stand on that looks like it used to carry monsters across the water, but its busted and won’t move. You jump in, and swim down below. The rain already has you drenched, what’s a little swim gonna do? The water is about 7 feet deep, but there’s another dock to stand on a few yards out. You come up for air, and climb back to where Sans is standing.

 

            “Okay,” you say. “I’m going to go in the water, and you come after me. When you’re in, hold on to my shoulders and I’ll get us to the other side.”

 

            “Or… I could just teleport,” he says.

 

            You give him your pissed off face. “I am not missing a _single inch_ of this place, got it? We’re only teleporting if we need to.” He rolls his pupils of light and follows you into the water, doing as instructed.

 

            The water is black, and you can’t see the bottom. But _damn,_ the ceiling is beautiful. You keep your eyes focused above you, because looking below you is no good. It gives you that feeling that you’re in the movie Jaws, or Deep Blue Sea, but this time it’s Deep Black Waterfall. It’s not so bad with Sans on your back, and the feeling gives you purpose. He needs you like you need him every now and then.

 

            You make it to the other dock, and you just swim on top of it. This dock is more elevated than the last. You’re walking forward and eventually make it to more tall grass.

 

            You’re out of the deep water, but it’s still raining, and very humid, making you sweat. Seeing the bright side, you have been wanting to shower. You enter another jungle garden section. There’s a magic crystal with something inside it, a few blue glowing flowers, and another star among the plants.

 

            “You know those blue flowers? They’re called echo flowers. If you whisper something to one of them, it’ll repeat what you say until someone says something new to it. You should say something,” says Sans.

 

            You bend down to say something to the flower. This one is silent. No one seems to have said anything to it.

 

            “Umm… Flowey, if you can hear this, we’re looking for you, okay? We’ll keep looking, so don’t give up. If you hear us, respond.” You see another flower and whisper to that one too. “Skeletons monsters are hot.”

 

            You tell Sans to listen to what the flower has to say, so he kneels down next to you to listen. He laughs and playfully spanks your ass.

 

            “Damn straight.”

 

            “Sans, what time is it?” You ask. You’ve been walking all day, you have no fresh water, and you need to pee pretty badly.

 

            “It’s not crazy late. We can keep walking.”

 

            Sans gets excited when he sees an abandoned telescope. “, this telescope is top of the line, you have to use it,” he says, convincing you to check it out. You look through and all you see is red.

 

            “I don’t know if this thing works,” you say, pulling away. He’s laughing at you. “What? What’s funny?” you ask.

 

            “You got something on your face.” He smiles, chuckling softly.

 

            “Ugh! Lamest prank ever. Where are we staying tonight?” you ask.

 

            “Well I can just teleport us back to my house. I bet it’ll be nice to get a change of clothes for the both of us. I left most of my clothes here, so we should be set, and we can come back to where we left off tomorrow. Want to take a little break? There should be a dry area right though that entrance.”

           

            Sans points to a hole in the wall with some broken wood pieces next to it. You enter.

 

            It isn’t dry, but the rain is lighter in the small space. There’s another box. You look inside, and there are two cards for something called nice cream.

 

            Close the box and look at the plaque on the wall, but you cant see much from things growing over it and because someone scribbled on it.

 

            It isn’t raining as much in here. It’s a good place to take a break. You look at Sans, who bends over again to get the water out of his sockets. When he comes back up you fully take in how… _handsome_ he looks in the rain. His hood is up, and his shirt is stuck to his body, hugging his rib cage. His clothes are all stuck to him, and for the first time, you really take in how beautiful of a creature he is. He’s standing in front of you as you sit down and look up at him. He’s looking at the shining stones on the ceiling, and it’s like you can see how he already knows everything about this place, but still has some curiosity about it, even though you don’t think he’d admit that. He can be a little apathetic sometimes, too. You wish you knew in full how his life was before you met him.

 

            “Sans?”

 

            “Yes?” he answers. He’s still looking up, but he sits down next to you and presses a kiss to your neck, following that by leaning on your shoulder. You rest your head against his skull.

 

            “We could look for your friend, you know.” Your lips graze his skull. “While we’re down here, we might as well.”

 

            “Sorry, sweetheart. I’ve looked everywhere. There’s nowhere he could possibly be. Well, there’s somewhere, but it’s pretty hard to get there.”

 

            “Where?”

 

            He frowns. “The place behind the door, where you can stir coffee with your mop’s volunteer hours.”

 

            …What?

 

            A sigh. “The void, . Created by temporal paradox or a grandfather paradox or _something_. Not sure which one, obviously. Something in the future caused something in the past, and I have no idea what. Either that, or something in the past prevented something in the future. Or something else. He didn't leave too many clues. I assume he tried to be like the kids. Tried to take a tiny bit from each of them, to make one human soul with the power of six, and go back in time to use that soul and one monster soul to open the barrier, so they didn’t have to die. Or maybe, instead of using a monster soul, he’d just wait for the last human to fall so we could just walk right through the barrier. The last possibility would be that he took small pieces of human souls for _himself_ to merge with his soul, so that he could inject himself with determination and open the barrier with his own power… But something went wrong. I can’t find out what. He made himself nonexistent, I _think_ , but the things he made are still here, and he still exists, but he doesn't and it’s so fucking hard to not forget him… This is what I’d like to think, though. I’d like to think that we were friends. And that he was good. I dunno.”

 

            Needless to say, you’re confused, but you aren’t going to vocalize it. You feel guilty asking him to explain this to you, because it’s clearly a difficult topic for him. You decide to ask a different question. Favorite animal? Favorite song? You want to change the topic but nothing seems to come to mind.

 

            You decide to ask his age. “Um… Sans, how old are you?”

 

            “Not entirely sure. There have been long periods of time in my life where there was no time, and I was stuck there, so I did studying. Then again, there have been times in my life where _time_ was stuck, or fast, and I don’t know how old I am. Maybe I’m seven. Maybe I’m eighty-seven. Maybe both. I'd have to ask Pap. But either way, you still think I’m hot, so whatever.”

 

            “Yeah, I’d totally date a seven year old.”

 

            “Then you’re in luck. I’m single,” he says.

 

            You could sit there for hours with him. It ends up only being one hour though, mostly just an hour of silence. The humidity along with the rain is relaxing and makes you feel warm and kind of moldy. He lets his magic flow through the cuts in your leg again; he seems to be very intent on fixing you up.

 

               You’re lying down now, being spooned by Sans, electric excitement runs through you every time he kisses or nibbles on your neck, both of you slowly falling asleep. You know that if you do, you’ll be asleep for the whole night, so you nudge Sans with your elbow.

 

            “C’mon sleepy Sans, we gotta get going,” you say. “I’m falling asleep.”

 

            “No, _you’re_ sleepy Sans,” he responds. You turn your body to face him and his sockets are shut.

 

            “Do I have to…” you take his hand and bite one of his fingers. “…get _serious_?” you threaten. He smiles and turns away from you, implying a yes. You might have to wake him up the way Chara would wake you up; payback for Sans introducing you to the way Pap woke him up.

 

            This won’t be easy, doing what Chara did.

 

            It’s kind of scary.

 

            You turn him over and climb on top of him. You sit like that for a bit, just like Chara would. Then you lay on top of him completely. Wait a bit. Lean in to his… ear? And do the slow breathing Chara would do.

 

            It got you up, because eventually, you’d be unsure if it was Chara or your imagination.

 

            Sans opens his eye sockets. “What’s that from?” he asks.

 

            “It’s how my little sibling used to wake me up.”

 

            “Creepy.”

 

            “…Yeah.”

 

            Awkward.

 

            “Papyrus is a lot of fun. I’m excited for you to meet him. Maybe you can sleepover and he can show you the real deal. He gets crazier than I did, it’s great. He’s the coolest. Want to get going?” he says. You nod and he gets out from under you and stands up. He offers his hand to you. You take it and he pulls you up hard, landing you face to face. Little kiss from him. You return a big kiss. He’s your kiss friend.

 

            Is that a label?

 

            You take it back.

 

            He leads you out of the room.

 

            You look at the flower you whispered to before and lean down to it, wondering if it picked up Sans’s voice at all.

 

            It’s being quiet. Did it lose its memory?

 

            Then you hear a little whisper.

 

            “ _You know who I am. I want something from you. You won’t see Flowey until I get it.”_

What the fuck.

You lean to the other flower, the one that you said the joke to.

 

            _“Have you even wondered what he came down here for, ?”_

You stand up.

 

            You back away slowly.

 

            You back into Sans.

 

            You freeze.

 

            “Sans…”

 

            “What’s up?”

 

            You turn to look at him. You hadn’t really thought too much about why Sans came down here to visit. He never brought it up either. You’re wondering if it’s the best idea to bring it up now. Maybe you should wait till later?

 

            But when is later?

 

            “Someone else spoke to that flower,” you say.

 

            “…What did it say to you?”

 

            “It sounded like that voice in my head.”

 

            “Oh jeeze. I guess we should make-out then.”

 

            “Hah, you weirdo. No, but really, what it said freaked me out. And it was… uh, it was about you, Sans. I don’t want to be rude or offend you but maybe I should ask what it implied I should ask,” you say. He looks concerned and suspicious, which is intimidating, because it feels like he knows what you’re going to say.

 

            Straight face Sans. “You can tell me.”

 

            “Um… What did _you_ really come down here for?” you ask. He looks deeply at you. Kind of worried.

 

            “I don’t want to tell you. You probably won’t want to hangout anymore. And that’s dangerous for you.”

 

             “Sans, you have to tell me. I wouldn’t ask for it if it wasn’t suddenly important but…” You don’t really know what to say. You feel like how you felt when you first met.

 

Afraid.

 

               “, the reason I came down here… is just something I want to forget about. I thought it was the right- ugh, no. Not the right thing, but just what I _had_ to… Can you just _let_ me forget about it?” he asks. He’s mad.

 

                “I’m sorry, Sans. I don’t want to force you. But that flower I whispered to…” you say. “It asked me if I had ever wondered. And I haven’t really. But now, I kind of feel like I should know.”

 

               He looks disappointed or pissed, but you can’t back off. You need to know why he came down here.

 

              “I’ll tell you. If you swear you won’t run away, and if you swear you’ll listen to the whole story,” he says. You nod. You’re not judgy. You can handle it, right?

 

            A deep breath from Sans. He looks you in the eyes. You take his hand and give him a reassuring smile, as you stop yourself from trembling.

 

              “I was sent here to kill you, .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AW SHIIIIIIT LOOK AT THAT


	12. What the Fuck? Why?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i shouldve named this story "other characters explain things"  
> enjoy

           “What the fuck? Why?” You ask. Your mind is racing. When was he going to do it? Was he _still_ going to do it? You want to have some time to yourself, but you said you wouldn’t leave. Keep your promises, as stupid as it is right now.

 

            “This is really hard to explain, . Please, trust me?” he says, his deep voice dripping with an apologetic tone. You stand there, speechless. “Frisk... you know of Frisk right? Pretty quiet? Generally happy? Well, Frisk hasn’t been the same since we left the underground.” He seems lost. He has his head down, ashamed.

 

            “Sans…” you say. He looks at you. “It’s not okay. It’s not okay to want to kill people. It’s not okay to want to kill me. But you’re going to explain it. And you probably have an explanation. And then I’ll probably forgive you. Eventually. So go ahead, and explain it, or I’ll have to go on alone.”

 

            He pulls himself together. “Frisk hasn’t been okay. They don’t smile. They shake all the time. They wrote me a letter. It said that there’s someone who ‘isn’t good’, someone who isn’t supposed to be around any more but _is_. They said that this someone is… a _demon_ that haunts them.”

 

            He shakes his head. “Frisk is so young. How would they know what a demon is? Why would one be following them? So, I kept asking them, I kept bugging them about it. And then… they said to me, . They said your name. They spoke, directly to me, for the first time. Nothing out of them since. So I was asking around for people with your name, and I asked Toriel, and she said that… a kid of hers used to say that name every now and then.”

 

             “A kid of your friend’s used to say my name a lot? So that must mean you have to _kill me?_ Flawless logic, asshole,” you say, instantly regretting saying it. But you have a right, don’t you? He was going to _kill_ you, so you have a right to call him an asshole, right?

 

            You still feel guilty about it.

 

             “I know, I know. I’m sorry. But please let me finish.”

 

             You sit down in front of the man who was supposed to kill you and he follows, rain falling hard making this all the more dramatic.

 

              “I asked Frisk if was the demons name. They signed to me that it isn’t, but they told me that the person has a certain kind of power that can summon the demon. Frisk told me that they have dreams, terrible dreams about the person hurting them in ways indescribable. And believe me when I say I _know_ these ‘dreams’ that Frisk has. Some of them aren’t dreams. They’re memories from past timelines, because each time Frisk dies, they return to their last save point, or the last ‘star’ they touched, as you call it. Frisk can remember past timelines, but not in full. They just know that if they die, they’ll go back in time, and they’ll remember what got them dead. Frisk… has a burden to carry. This is important. Frisk can die, but can never stay dead, because no one has the ability to save over their save points.”

 

           You’re confused. As fuck. But you listen and try to understand.

 

             “No matter what Frisk dies of, be it old age, disease, car accident, murder, suicide, they will _always_ go back in time and return to their last save point unless someone has the power to save over it. They have no control over it; it’s just the way it is. And when the monsters surfaced, Frisk took a ‘star’ and put it in a box, and now keeps it in their closet, so they can save over and over. They promised all of the monsters that they would save after we all die, whenever that will be, so that we don’t have to keep coming back and reliving life, so that we can finally be at peace. Do you understand that? Frisk will allow us to live our lives as we’re supposed to, they’ll let us die naturally, and save over our deaths so that we don’t have to keep coming back. And when it’s appropriate, Frisk actually… _dies on purpose._ To save some of us. Frisk doesn’t want us to die in a car accident, get it? If someone dies a painful death, Frisk will kill themselves to go back in time and save that monster from the painful death. Frisk has chosen to live forever, to take care of the monsters and humans. They aren’t afraid of that. But they’re terrified of this demon. They’re terrified of some person named . And if whoever that person is, is hurting Frisk and killing them in other timelines, which Frisk can recall in dreams. But it could also be Frisks _prophetic_ dreams, something that _will_ happen, in the future. Either way, who ever this ‘                  ‘ person is, I assumed that they have/will kill Frisk, and they plan on saving over their last save somehow. I guess they’ll make our people suffer for whatever reason, and maybe worse. So, I explained this to the king. He told me to hunt them down, find their motive, find their accomplices, and get rid of them. Frisk described the person to me. I asked around, found out they live close by, and it was you, .”

 

            Yeah. You. You’re the demon killing little kids? That makes no sense. But then again, it must mean something. Keep your cool. It sounds more like you’re a target of danger rather than danger itself. And it makes you think of what the echo flower said, about wanting something from you.

            Sans continues. “All I know is, you’re not the demon. But, demons possess people. They can do that. And that voice in your head? That doesn’t seem like a nice voice. It seems evil. That _voice,_ that _thing,_ whatever it is, it wants your body. I already said that you have a strong soul, maybe stronger than the most determined human I’ve ever met, and it’s clear that your soul is a target for whatever this thing is. And if it gets to you… if that demonic evil spirit gets inside of you and _uses_ your body to fulfill it’s personal agenda… it might get to frisk next. It might take Frisks soul. Which means it will be able to save. Which means it can torture and kill or do whatever the fuck it has planned, for all eternity. And I can’t allow that. So I decided to follow you. For the three months before you entered the Underground, I watched you pretty often. I’m _so sorry I did that._ I couldn’t just find you and kill you. Even when I had you completely under my control when we first actually met, I could tell, you’re not a killer. I had to know who you were, first. I had to make sure you were the one I was looking for. So I watched closely. I really wanted you to just be evil. Make it easy for me. But no, of course not, you had to be good. You were sweet, and cute, and harmless, and obsessed, and fun, but sometimes you would look around or freeze in the middle of your steps like someone was watching you. And maybe…. Maybe you and Frisk are battling the same demon.”

 

           Demons are a fear of yours. Not a huge fear, since you never had to deal with one before, but now that there’s one hunting you and trespassing in your mind, you’re terrified. It’s hard to stay brave when dealing with forces beyond your control, especially when those forces plan to control your body for its own. Between knowing that a demon has it’s eyes on you and knowing that Sans stalked you for three months, you’re angry, scared, and be honest, you’re flattered.

 

           Suddenly you feel a distant kind of guilt. Strangely, _you_ don’t feel guilty, _you_ have nothing to really feel guilty about, but it’s there, hanging over you, an apologetic guilt. You want to bring it up but don’t think that now is the right time. Could you be feeling this through him? But does it matter right now? Should you be thinking of anything other than what he just told you?

 

          You think back to the three months you spent preparing yourself to enter the Underground to find your sibling.

 

           Apparently Sans was there the whole time. The footsteps never felt too scary, they almost never felt bad, but the eyes on you felt like fire.

 

          It’s odd remembering the times where you were listening to music in your room, relaxing, watching TV. Remembering the way the soft sound of the footsteps never made you jump.

 

          It hits you that you have always felt this comfortable around Sans, whether you knew it or not… Strange. “So you were the footsteps?” you ask.

 

          He looks down, clearly embarrassed or something, you don’t know how to feel and neither does he. You’ve been stalked. You’ve been watched. But you’ve been protected? If Sans _hadn’t_ followed you around, could the eyes have seriously hurt you? Whenever he’s near, they go away, so is he the reason the eyes never seriously hurt you?

 

         Gross. This is all gross.

 

         But kind of cool.

 

         You’ve never exactly felt this kind of importance that you’re feeling now. That’s selfish, you think, because someone could’ve fucking killed you, but look at where you ended up. In a jungle garden with a new friend.

 

         Not so bad, right?

 

        “I guess that was me, yeah. You packed up to go to the Underground and I followed you. I had no idea what you were going for. But when something pulled you down to make you fall backwards into Mount Ebott, I knew something was up… I reached out to you as if I could somehow grasp your hand, and I knew at that moment that I actually give a shit about you.” He stands up and you allow him to help you up too.

 

      Strange phrasing, the way he said that.

 

       You feel a sudden rush within your head.

 

       You mind feels like it’s… smoky? It’s like when you haven’t eaten all day and stand up too fast.

 

       Actually, that’s exactly what it is.

 

        “I forgive you.” You look him in the eye sockets and then feel your head spinning.

 

        “, you don’t look so good, are you okay? Was it too much to process?” he asks. You aren’t sure. Maybe this is giving you anxiety? You feel similar to the way you felt when Sans teleported you. Tiny black spots appear in your field of vision. You haven’t had water or food all day. How long has it been?

 

       “I think I should eat something,” you say. Your legs feel all wobbly. Shit. You’re completely aware you’re going to pass out. You feel your forehead and you’re clammy. “I think I’m gonna pass out,” you say. Everything’s blurry. You think you hear Sans ask what he should do for you, and you fall against him. With no energy to keep you awake, you feel yourself fall into a blackout.

 

***

_You’re sitting next to a tree. It’s tall and healthy and blossoming into something really beautiful. Soon it won’t be a tree anymore. Soon it’ll be something else. What it was meant to be._

_Next to you is your little sibling. You almost jump for joy but no, it’s… someone else. Someone that looks like your little sibling, but isn’t. They look nice. Their lips aren’t blue._

_“Hey, .” They look at you and smile. Their mouth doesn’t move, but their words are clear. No sound emits from them. You’re communicating telepathically. “Sorry I got you into this.”_

_“It’s okay,” you tell them._

_“I’m Frisk.”_

_You sit in silence for a moment. Pink petals of flowers fall from the sky. It’s sunny._

_“They might have gone to a place just like this,” Frisk tells you. “They just can’t. They’re stuck.”_

_Suddenly, you feel like you’re spinning. The scenery around you changes. A dark fog appears around you._

_You and Frisk are still sitting next to each other, as the world around you moves into a place absent of light. The tree is gone. The sun is gone. You can still see, but not too much. Frisk tugs on your shirt to get your attention. You look down at them and they make a ‘shh’ motion, putting their finger to their lips. You nod, understanding that it’s time to be silent. Frisk points ahead of you, and you focus your attention, squinting your eyes to see better in the darkness._

_You see Chara. As they move, smoke trails behind them. You want so badly to reach out to them, pull them into your arms, and cradle them like you did when they were very little. Your dream mind is aware that Chara is dead and gone, but why is it that even when you’re dreaming you can’t have them? You look longingly to your little sibling, walking around in a foggy, dark room._

_“Even communicating with no sound is dangerous around Chara's soul. They **must not** hear us. Don’t let them. But if you make your thoughts whispers, we should be safe,” says Frisk. Why would that be dangerous? Why is Chara dangerous? “This is where Chara's soul is stuck. Between the place all souls must pass to move on, and the material world. But if you keep looking for them, they might come back all together. Please, don't let that happen.”_

_Chara looks angry. They’re pacing all over._

_“I need to calm them down,” you tell Frisk._

_Frisk shakes their head. “No.”_

_“Why? This is a dream, why can’t I be with them in a dream?”_

_"Can’t you see that this isn’t a dream?”_

_You can’t. So you say nothing._

_“When I go back to my body, I probably won’t remember any of this. But I’ll visit you again next time I’m out of my body. That’s the only time I can remember much. But you have to go back to your physical body now, ._ ” _Frisk lifts their hand and hovers it above the center of your chest._

_Their hand begins to glow, and beneath it, something shaped like a heart is forming. Before you can get a really good look at it, Frisk pushes the heart-shaped thing **hard** into your chest and you’re falling backwards, it feels like being pushed into a pool of water with no warning, and all you see are galaxies and stars and the moon until you feel yourself hit hard ground and you inhale deep._

           You spring awake, flinging your upper body forwards so that you’re sitting up and you see that you’re back in Sans’s room. He’s sitting next to the mattress and it seems you really startled him, because he jumped up and is standing next to you in a pose that seems like he’d be ready to fight, with one arm behind his back.

 

          “, you scared the shit out of me, what was that?” he asks. He has a plate of muffins and a glass of water for you sitting next to him.

 

          “I’m sorry, I think I had a weird dream… or _something._ I don’t know. I didn’t mean to scare you.” The dream is still very much on your mind. You _know_ Chara has issues, but dangerous? Not entirely, right? Not unless someone had pressured them, right?

 

         You want so badly to believe that Chara isn’t evil.

 

         You want so badly so save them, and save Flowey, and have them both be happy.

 

_But it’s just out of your reach._

         You put your hand to your chest and feel your heart beat. You wonder what it was that Frisk pushed into you. You wonder if that was a dream or not. Can people you dream about tell you you’re not dreaming?

 

 _What the hell is going on_ , you think to yourself. You want to ask Sans, maybe he can understand and explain this to you, but he’s already done so much explaining. You figure that you’ll just wait till you fall asleep again and hopefully have another “dream” thing like before. Maybe that’ll answer your questions.

 

        “I’m sorry, . For almost killing you.”

 

       “You’ve saved my life like 3 times so far, and I kind of previously like you a lot, so you’re excused. But if you ever think about killing me again I’ll be pissed,” you say. He smiles.

 

         “You’re crazy,” he says.

 

       You begin to understand that you’ve been passed out for a while and Sans is probably going to keep you in the house for the rest of the night. “ _Fuck,”_ you say at the realization. Sans immediately understands.

 

        “I know, I‘m sorry, but no way in hell am I letting you keep walking after that shit. I’m sick of you and your always-dying thing. You need an actual break. And I have just the thing,” he says. He takes his arm out from behind him and shows you the biggest bottle of Jack Daniels that you’ve ever seen. “Let’s get fucked up.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry ive been taking a while to post, the part im at in the story is difficult to write and im hard to motivate and its hard for me to stay focused. im working hard though, i love writing! wish me luck


	13. Shadow Puppets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Giving yall a nice cool down, laid back, fluffy chapter before CRAZY TIMES  
> So enjoy the sweetness next chapter is donked up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE  
> MY COMPUTER DELETED EVERYTHING I HAVE OF THIS STORY  
> THE NEXT THREE CHAPTERS ARE GONE  
> ILL TRY REWRITING THEM  
> FUCK  
> ITS NOT JUST THE STORY  
> ITS EVERYTHING  
> SHIT SHIT SHIT  
> THIS THING IS MY CHILD  
> FUCK  
> IM DEAD  
> IM SO DEAD  
> AHHHHHHHH  
> WHY  
> WHY DID THIS HAPPEN  
> EVERYTHING IS GONE  
> THE PLANS  
> THE NEXT CHAPTER  
> THE NEXT CHAPTER WHERE ITS GREAT  
> ITS GONE NOW  
> OH MY GOD  
> IF I DONT UPDATE IN LIKE A MONTH OR SO ASSUME IM DEAD
> 
>  
> 
> There's music in this chapter, it took me a while to find music sans would listen to, but definitely listen to the song that gets to him, its so Sans. I have all the links at the end notes.  
> its sooo sans it couldve been made for him ah  
> dont forget sans has commitment issues  
> beep boop dont judge me

“Are you kidding me?” you ask. “You think we have time to get drunk? We should go to sleep, wake up early again, and get out there for Flowey.”

 

            “, you need this, trust me. If you get hung-over tomorrow, I can probably heal that. Grillby always had the best whiskey, they just don’t make it the same on the surface.”

 

You wonder how the monsters came up with the same name brand as the ones on the surface. He opens the bottle and swings it back. You’re surprised when the liquid doesn’t just fall to the floor, but you see Sans’s blue magic glowing under his shirt. You go to him and lift the shirt up to find a ball of magic catching the whiskey. The magic holds it there, and compresses it, making it disappear. He lowers the bottle when you stare for too long.

 

            “That’s how I digest things. Stop staring,” he says. You keep staring. “Next time you eat I’m going to stare at the skin above your stomach until you feel this uncomfortable.” You laugh and back away, giving him his privacy.

 

            You really don’t think you should be drinking. You grab the water and chug the whole thing, and follow up with a muffin. The food feels good in your empty stomach. You eat three muffins and feel satisfied. It’s easy to fill up when you haven’t eaten all day. The light-headedness is completely faded. Sans takes a muffin too.

 

            “Okay, how about this?” he says. “You like games right? How about if you drink, I’ll show you one of _my_ games.” It’s tempting. You wonder what he likes to play. You think it over, weighing out the pros and cons, repressing the guilt you have about taking _another fucking break_ from the child hunt, and you agree to his deal.

 

            “Okay fine. But in return, we can’t stop looking until we find Flowey next time we go out. Deal?”

 

            “Deal.” He hands you the bottle. You take it hesitantly and brace yourself for monster alcohol. Just the thought of it makes you feel like it’s going to be strong shit. You drink the amount of a small shot and you’re completely surprised when it doesn’t remind you like liquor on the surface at all. It’s bitter, but it doesn’t give you that burning feeling in your eyes and nose after swallowing it. Other than that, it’s pretty smooth.

 

            “Okay, so what’s the game?” you ask.

 

            “Here, come with me.” He grabs the whiskey and your hand and brings you into his brother’s room. “We need the computer in here for the game. Ready?” he asks. You nod.

 

            “Okay, so here are the rules. I play a song I know. Any song, it doesn’t matter, just something I know, and then you play a song. But, if you can’t pick a song in… 7 seconds, you have to….. ummm,” he says. He’s trying to figure out a good punishment. You think he might just be making this game up on the spot. “You have to take off an article of clothing.” You smile and blush a little, because the game is innocent but it’s his motives that you question. “Are you still in?”

 

            “Yes. But this time, _you’re_ getting owned,” you reply. This should be fun. You know your music like the back of your hand.

 

            “You sure about that? This game is kind of my _forte._ ”

 

         “Hey, don’t use that _tone_ with me,” you say. Hah. You showed him.

 

            “Woah, . Talk like that is only going to lead to treble.” Shit. He’s better at puns than you. “And by the way, you can’t repeat songs. So if I play something you were going to put on, you can’t put it on anymore. Vice versa. I have a music account on here, but I guess to make it even we can both use the Internet.”

 

            So it begins.

 

            He logs in to the computer and plays a song. It has no lyrics, but it does have a catchy beat.

 

            “This is the kind of stuff we used to listen to down here. It was less lyrics, more just sound, really interpretive. I know some human music too.” He takes the bottle and gulps down more of it. You wonder how his tolerance is, and what kind of drunk he is. Maybe you’re into the same music. The song is nice. He hands you the bottle and you begin to sip a bit of it. Sans rolls his light pupil things at you and tips the bottle more, making you have a larger amount to drink and you cough a little.

 

            “C’mon , let loose. If you’re drinking with me, you have to go head in. Okay?”

 

            “Ugh. Okay, fine. But I’m not getting shitfaced.” His song ends, and it’s your turn. The first turn is a no brainer, and you put on one of your favorite songs. Sans seems to like it.

 

            “I like music like this, too. You have a good taste, sweets.” He’s tapping his foot. You’re bobbing your head to the song and realize that you already kind of feel the alcohol when your vision moves slower than your head does. It’s nice, this is nice, it’s a good kind of break. A kind you haven’t had in a long time. The fun kind.

 

            Your song ends, and Sans hesitates and is sweating somehow. You put pressure on him.

           

“Don’t mess up!” you yell. He seems to really be at a loss.

 

            “Fuck,” he says, with a little chuckle. He takes off his slippers and socks, revealing his creepy ass skeleton feet. “Okay, it’s a little late, but here’s a song.” He types in ‘Hey,’ by the pixies. “I listened to this all the time when I… you know, stalked you. Heh. Sorry again. But I’d always have this song playing during those three months. A few lines are just too relatable.”

 

            It’s pretty clear what he means, because the first line of the song is “Hey! Been trying… to meet you.” You laugh at the line, and get a little insight as to how Sans felt when he was watching you. So close but so far away is a good way of describing it. You sit on the floor and he sits next to you and takes your hand. You’re happy, really happy, and you feel a distant kind of happiness too, one that isn’t yours, and you know you’re feeling it through him. You’ll bring it up later, for now, you just want to enjoy it.

 

            It’s your turn to put on a song. You kind of lose on purpose, to even it out between you two. You don’t actually care that much about winning. Well, you do, but not enough you guess. You take off your sweatshirt. You put on a song on that reminds you of when you were younger, something you used to listen to as a kid. You describe to Sans that it’s really weird listening to it again, and that it brings back a lot of memories, good and bad. You drink, and you’re feeling it more and more, slowly. Not too fast. Throwing up is not okay. He’s drinking too and you can tell he’s a little gone. He’s telling you how beautiful you are, touching your face, pulling you back down to him when you try to get up. He’s smitten with you, apparently. You feel empowered, and complimented, and… you feel the same way as he does, in the truth of it.

 

            He plays a song called ‘I was all over her’ by Salvia Path. It’s very different. He drinks.

 

            You play a dumb kidz bop song to really show him what music really is.

 

He takes too long to put on ‘Pale Blue Eyes’ by The Velvet Underground, and there goes the big blue sweatshirt. It’s just his shirt and shorts now. He has broad shoulders. Hot.

 

You play a more upbeat song to counter his slower ones.

 

He kind of beats you when he plays “I Wrote a Song” by Dead Rabbits. He holds your hand for the whole song. There are no words between you for that song. Just feeling it.

 

You loose your shoes and socks when you take too long play a song that makes you feel sad. It’s just one of those songs. “This song always gets to me, I don’t know why. It can tell you a lot about me I guess, in the music and lyrics.” You close your eyes to listen closely.

 

It’s his turn again. He puts in a song quickly this time. He says it’s called ‘Right Where It Belongs,’ by Nine Inch Nails.

 

“This song is pretty much who I was in the Underground. I heard it when we surfaced, and it made me feel like I was back in my workshop, just waiting for the world to reset again, waiting to see another kid die, not caring, just _hollowing_ myself out. Sorry, it’s a bad time for a pun.”

 

You can’t _not_ pay attention to these lyrics.

 

            These words…          

 

Wow.

 

It’s really sad.

 

You sit quietly for the remainder of the song, really feeling the words. It’s heartbreaking. You could cry, but you don’t. You think that might be what the song wants you to feel. Like crying is useless, and so is everything, so what’s the point… You look at Sans. It seems like the song is triggering memories or something. His face looks calm, he’s smiling, but his fists are balled up. You can see blue light from the cracks between his fingers. Uh oh. Probably not a good thing. You grab the Jack and hand it to him, hoping it’ll distract him from his thoughts, but it seems like the song is just a lot for him. He takes the drink, allowing the blue magic to escape from his hands. It looks like a blue mist around his bone-fingers. He takes the drink to his mouth again, drinks, and lowers it, and then stops moving to look at you.

 

You just look at each other for a bit.

 

The song is over.

 

You play a song that cheers you up when you’re down, or at least it usually does, and you hope it has the same effect for Sans.

 

He stands up and turns out the lights when your song is over, which makes him lose time and his shorts are off, it’s just boxers and his shirt now, nothing too scandalous. He plays “Pepper” by Butthole Surfers. You stand up too.

 

“I’m sorry I showed you that song. It’s just important for you to hear if you want to empathize with me about some stuff. One day you’ll know.”

 

He then drinks more, a lot more. Hands the bottle to you and you do the same. He looks away and you tell him not to worry, that he can trust you. He smiles and pulls you in for a kiss, and then another, and another….

 

He’s got his hands under your shirt, trailing up your back. One wanders to your chest, gently, not too much force, he’s feeling around and then he whispers, “It’s been 7 seconds, babe.” Apparently his song ended somewhere between him talking and him touching you. He pulls your shirt off, kisses your neck, and then a little lower, and tells you to put on a song.

 

This time you put on your very favorite song, a good song not associated with any memories, but you’re ready to give it one, and make it a memory of being in the Underground with him. You leave the bottle on the desk, deciding that you and him have both had enough to drink. He gives you his hand and pulls you into him.

 

“Hey, . I have another rule for the game.”

 

“What!? What is it?”

 

“It’s-“ he laughs, and then continues. “It’s that you have to dance with me, that’s the rule.”

 

“No, no, I don’t really know,” you say.

 

“C’mon! You have to, or you lose for real.”

 

“What happens then?”

 

“Then the game is over and you have to go to sleep.” Boo, you don’t want that, not now that you’re in your drunken party kid mode.

 

“Okay, I’ll dance.”

 

Sans smiles big and does a little happy jump.

 

“You’re drunk,” you say.

 

“No, _we’re_ drunk.” He winks at you and takes your hands. He does a ring-around-the-rosy kind of thing with you, spinning you fast. The room is a blur and all you can see is his face, his smiling laughing face, his adorable face, those shoulders, you’re looking down at him but he’s so cool, the most cool kid, and you laugh too. He stops suddenly, but doesn’t let go of your hands. He twists you away from him, and then pulls you back in, dips you, kisses your nose.

 

He backs away to do his own thing. “I never do this with anyone!” he yells over the music. You laugh. Really hard. Everything is like 37 times funnier when you’re drunk, and Sans is already the funniest guy in town. You let yourself go, dancing around him freestyle. You spin around more, making yourself dizzy, stumble a little, but it’s almost like it’s a part of the dance because you’re moving so freely.

 

He puts on another song, ‘Say it ain’t so,’ by Weezer. It’s slower, but Sans is going all in, he has the air guitar out, he knows every word. He’s moving faster than the song is, and you join. At one point he’s saying the lyrics really loudly.

 

“Your drug is a heart breaker! Say it ain’t so, my love is a LIFE TAKEEEER!” He’s on the floor now, totally rocking out. It’s awesome seeing him like this. He’s open and more energetic.

 

After a little dancing, you’re in his arms, he’s kissing you, harder now, and you pull away to ask him a question that’s been on your mind for a while now.

 

            “Sans, this is a dumb question.”

 

            “Good. What is it?”

 

            “Do you… have a tongue?” You tilt your head as sweetly as you can because you feel stupid asking, but you might as well look good as you do it.

 

            “You’re gonna be really creeped out. Even I was creeped out when I first saw it. Wanna see?” he asks. You nod excessively.

 

            He opens his mouth wide. You peer in, but it’s just darkness in there. You lean in more. Slowly though, a blue light starts to manifest within him. Should you lean back? No. Stay brave. Assert dominance. You keep watching, facial expression changing from suspicious to surprised.

 

            A blue, glowing tongue forms. He sticks it out and it is LONG. DAMN.

 

            “Sans…?” you say, eyes focused on the tongue.

 

            “Yeah?” he says, sounding funny because his tongue is out.

 

            “You should use that.”

 

He laughs. “How badly do you want me to?” he teases.

 

            “ _Very_ badly,” you say.

 

            He smiles and aggressively runs his hand down your back, pulling you into his chest, and he moves the tongue down your neck. He bites your earlobe, making you shiver. He wasn’t lying when he said he was good. You feel your core getting hot and tingly, the feeling is more intense with the liquor in your system.

 

            “You lost another seven seconds, babe.” He takes his hand down to the lower parts of your back, and then your hip, and pulls down the sweatpants he loaned to you. You step out of them. “You look beautiful . You’re fucking beautiful.”

           

Before you can put on another song, he turns around, and takes your hands to drag you along behind him. He takes you to his room. You lay on his bed and he lies next to you, now just playing music from his phone playlist. It’s late. He’s looking at the ceiling again, but you don’t want him to be, you want him to be looking at you. You climb on top of him, and he looks you in the eyes.

 

            You lean down to speak into his neck. “Sans?” you whisper in your sexy voice.

 

            “Yes?”

 

            “Do you want me?”

 

            “Of course I do…. but, um….” he says. He pauses and takes your hand before continuing. “You’re _real_ , right ?” His voice cracked a little, and his words were more like whispers. You notice that he’s holding his breath and shaking a bit. Kind of seems like he needs to cry. Strange change in emotion. But hey, who are you to talk? Of all people, you get it. When you lose someone you care about it’s like you can’t depend on anything.

 

            “Yes,” you say.

 

            “I didn’t just make you up, did I?”

 

            “You didn’t make me up, Sans. I’m real. I’m right here. If you made me up, would I do this?” you ask, before lightly slapping his face.

 

            He laughs a bit and touches where you hit him. “Um… ow? That was pretty weak, especially for a human. What was that for?” he asks.

 

            “Well if I was your imagination, I’d probably be perfect, right? So, to prove that I’m real, I hurt you.” _And that’s called drunk logic_ , you think to yourself.

 

            “I guess that makes sense,” he says. You sit up to look at his face. He is crying, only a little, and he’s clearly not the type of person to really display emotion so he’s trying to hold it in. “, I haven’t cried in a really long time. This is weird. I’m usually pretty numb…”

 

            “It’s okay. It’s good.”

 

            He smiles at that. He asks if he can show you something he can do. He warns you that it’s going to be corny. You say yes.

 

            He creates a bunch of blue magic, does some weird motions with his hands, and manipulates it to create the shape of a bird. A glowing blue bird. He flies it around the room. It changes into a fish, and then a rabbit. They look like holograms. Then he makes it an ear of corn.

 

            “Told you it’d be corny,” he says. He keeps making the figures, all of them dazzling you. It’s like shadow puppets, but the opposite. Light puppets.

           

            You take your hand and touch your middle finger and ring finger to your thumb to make a dog. “Look, I can do it too,” you say. He laughs and tells you he has an idea. He stands up and gets a flashlight from the inside of his lamp. He puts in batteries from one of his drawers and comes back to you to turn on the flash light.

 

            “Do your shadow puppets,” he says. You make a dog. And then a butterfly. You hold the flash light for a little and Sans makes some shapes too.

 

            You’re dozing off. Sans’s music is still playing. He has you wrapped in his arms and your head is under his chin.

 

            He was right.

 

            The break was well needed.

 

            You fall asleep to the sound of Sans snoring and a song on his music playlist with lyrics you don’t want to forget. “There’s monsters in my closet, watching over me. The days are getting shorter, and at night it’s hard to sleep. The combination of all of this is the death of everything, so if you love me, if you love me… hurry…”

           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE  
> MY COMPUTER DELETED EVERYTHING I HAVE OF THIS STORY  
> THE NEXT THREE CHAPTERS ARE GONE  
> ILL TRY REWRITING THEM  
> FUCK
> 
>  
> 
> IMPORTANT  
> Skeleton feet: http://www.skeletonsandmore.com/securecart/images/CH31LRD.jpg
> 
> The song that matches sans really perfectly and he got all sad:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjrO3d4TdS4&nohtml5=False 
> 
> The Rest of the music in Order if you're interested:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owNWgBnye5g  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUegJBEusoI  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcDuR9BF0Oc  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-fskJLdJw4  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjIHmTEBgL0  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wdpSFQTulo  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqCD1c83zCQ


	14. An Uncommon Solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh oh! somersault jump

                   It was a dreamless sleep, finally. No weird messages, no strange visits. You sit up and immediately smell yourself. You smell like sweat and flowers and whiskey. Sans, still asleep, doesn’t smell too much different. You wake him up gently by pressing little kisses to his face. It’s easy to be affectionate when it’s just you and him.

 

            “Hey, love,” he says. Ooo, you like that one. That’s a fancy pet name. You’ve been promoted from kid, to sweets, to babe, to love. It’s not like he’s saying he loves you either, he’s just saying you’re a love. Safe.

 

            “Before we head out, can I ask if you have a shower?” you ask. It’s been what, 4 days down here? Your hair isn’t greasy thanks to the swim yesterday but you feel grungy.

 

            “Yeah, we actually do. You might’ve missed it. It’s on the first floor behind the couch. There’s a door against the wall, that’s the bathroom.” He sinks off to sleep again. It is early, you only got about 6 hours of sleep, so you want to let him… but then again there’s a demon that wants to possess you so maybe he can just sleep on the couch to be closer.

 

            “Sans, can I move you to the couch? Just so you can be closer?” you ask. He groans and stands up, follows you down the stairs, and you enter the bathroom. It’s small. There’s a bathtub shower and a ducky curtain. You turn on the hot water and wait for it warm up. You undress and see all of the bruises you have from falling and what not. It’s not too bad, and it’s actually pretty badass. You get in the shower and close the curtain behind you. The warm water is like a breath of fresh air. There’s only a bar of soap in the shower, which makes sense because skeletons don’t have hair. You take in the steam around you and close your eyes because you don’t want to get out. You sing a little bit too, because hey, why not. Your voice sounds better than usual.

 

            The door opens and you jump in a scare.

 

            “It’s just me,” says Sans. “You forgot a towel.”

 

            You hear a towel fall to the floor and Sans sits on the toilet seat. “Watch out when you’re singing in the shower, it sucks when you get soap in our mouth. Then it just becomes a _soap opera._ ”

 

            “Oh my God that was so bad. Are you going to shower?” you ask.

 

            “Yeah, but probably after we look today. That way I don’t shower and then get gross all over again. I have clothes for you here too by the way,” he says. You thank him and finish the shower, grab the towel and dry yourself behind the curtain.

 

            Um… now what. Just get out? He’s there? Just go for it?

 

            You reach for the towel and wrap the towel around yourself and step out. He looks at you and smiles. He feels lustful. How do you know? Because you can feel it between you two. Now’s not the worst time to bring it up either.

 

            “Sans, you know how sometimes you can feel things through me?” you ask. He nods. “I’ve been getting that too. Through you.” You casually drop the towel and pick up the big shirt he loaned you. More lust from him.

 

            “It’s amazing, right? Weirdest shit ever. I wonder if it happens to other monster and human relationships. I’ve never seen it with Frisk and anyone. I’d have to ask Toriel,” he says, his eyes on your body, looking kind of predatory. “It’s like this feeling in your chest, like you’re feeling it from far away, you know?” he says. You do know. That’s exactly how it feels. Your little super power. Just for the two of you. You turn around, about to put on the shirt he’s letting you wear when he creeps up behind you and grabs your hip with one hand, pulling you into him backwards. “You’re a sexy little thing, ,” he says. You turn around and he kisses you, magic blue tongue brushing against yours, exploring the crevices of your mouth. He pulls you in closer and grabs your bare ass, making you let out a little gasp.

 

            “So you don’t think I’m just your imagination anymore?” you ask.

 

            “Nah, that’s all _behind_ me now,” he says as he squeezes harder. You feel yourself getting wet, you want to just take his hand and guide it to where you want it, where you _need_ it to be, when he lets go.

 

            “We better get going right?” he says. What? What was that? Gets you all horny and then drops you for the second time? Whatever, if he says no then it means no. You can’t get offended. You just really _really_ want him, and his backing away is making you a little insecure as to whether he feels the same or not. He kisses your cheek and you put your pants on. You take your shoes from upstairs and Sans gets into his shorts, jacket, and still wet shoes. He shrugs at them and takes you tightly in his arms. You teleport to the same spot you were in yesterday.

 

            Immediate rain.

 

            You walk forward and see a small gap. The other option is to go down a large set of docks, so you jump the gap and Sans follows.

 

            It’s routine now. Sans follows you. You make a few jokes. Try to suppress all of the emotions you’ve been feeling, he does the same. Yelling out Flowey’s name, pretending that he’ll answer eventually. You get to more writing on the wall and again ask Sans to read it for you.

 

            “Sure. This power has no counter. Indeed, a human cannot take a monster’s soul. When a monster dies, its soul disappears. And an incredible power would be needed to take the soul of a living monster. There is only one exception. The soul of a special species of monster called a ‘Boss Monster.’ A boss monster’s soul is strong enough to persist after death. If only for a few moments. A human could absorb this soul, but this has never happened… and now it never will.”

 

            “What’s a boss monster like?” you ask. You fear that a boss monster might be like the bosses in videogames, huge and unstoppable unless you’re the protagonist.

 

            “You’re lookin at one.”

           

            “Really?” you ask. “What differentiates between a regular monster and a boss monster?”

 

            “Boss monsters usually have more mass, and more strength. When they have a kid, the soul power of the parents flows into the child, which makes the kid grow as the Boss monsters age. There are a couple other things…” he winks at you. “… that you don’t need to know about me yet.”

 

            Weird. It’s hitting you that you’re falling for a person of a different species completely. You don’t know a thing about him or his kind. That doesn’t mean you should back off, but it means you should be careful. You have no idea what he is. Wow. That just hit you really hard. _A completely different species._

 

            “Are there a lot of Boss monsters?”

 

            “Not really. But we all hangout with each other. You’ll meet a bunch when we surface.”

 

            You like the thought of that. If they’re anything like Sans, you could easily get along with them.

 

            “Actually…” he says. “You might meet the monsters that um… They’re the ones that raised Chara when they ran away.”

 

            Ouch. OUCH. Way to be soft with it, Sans. _They raised Chara. Chara ran away._ Damn, he couldn’t have put that any lighter? Does he understand that that was supposed to be _you_? You taking care of Chara? Your anger finds it’s way to him. When he feels it, he begins to apologize.

 

            “Wait- shit. , I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, you know I didn’t,” he says. You breathe deep. It’s not his fault. _It’s not his fault. Forgive._

 

            “It’s okay. I’m sorry. I think I’m just mad at myself for letting them out of my sight, and I’m pushing that anger towards others. It’s not _your_ fault they ran away. I should’ve been more careful,” you say. Flashbacks of Chara. Flashbacks of Chara in the sand box at the park. You look away for a few minutes. Flashbacks of the empty sandbox. You call 911. You have to wait 48 hours for anyone to take you seriously. You search all night. You search _all night_. You hold their picture for everyone to see. Strange looks from strange people on the dirty streets of the village at 3 am. You’re alone. They’re gone. They’re _gone. They ran away and they’re gone._ _And now you’re too late._ “It’s my fault. It’s my fault. _It’s my fault…”_

 

          You close your eyes.

 

          You think of Flowey.

 

          You think of Flowey and move on before Sans can try and comfort you.

 

            You come across a statue with horns on it. It’s the only thing the flowers haven’t taken over. Strangely, nothing touches it. You pass it, too upset to inspect it much.

 

            You come across some umbrellas and decide against taking one, you’re already going to be soaked by the end of this so what’s the point.

 

            Sans takes your hand and rubs it, calming you. You walk into a darker place. Look out and you see a big, white castle with blue on the top of it. The stone’s on the ceiling _really_ look beautiful now. Sans lets you know that that’s the King’s old castle.

 

            You are looking all over for signs but as usual they’re nowhere to be found.

 

            You reach a boardwalk maze. Sans knows the way to go. There’s a bunch of blue spears on he ground, you wonder if it’s from whoever has Flowey. Were they throwing spears at the little Flower?

 

            “This is the end of the maze, but a friend of mine hit the last of the boardwalk off,” he says. You look down. It’s a long fall from here.

 

            “Do we… jump?” you ask. He smiles.

 

            “Yep. You want me to push you, make it easier?” he asks.

 

            “I don’t know…”

 

            “C’mon, . Don’t leave me on a _cliffhanger._ ”

 

            “Will I live? Is there any other way down? It’s just that last time I was saved but this time I just doubt there will be a path of flowers to-”

 

            Suddenly, you’re falling again. You hear Sans’s laughing. He pushed you, what a jerk. You wanted to push him. _Next time,_ you think to yourself.

           

            What a long fall. You land with a THUD- again, you’re on a patch of flowers. You hear the beating of your heart that feels like it’s in your throat. Sans teleports next to you. You’re breathing is fucked up since the fall knocked the wind out of you but you want to laugh. What are the odds of flowers saving your life twice?

 

            You stand up when you can and see that you’re in a garbage dump. Sans guides you through it, water up to your chest.

 

            You reach a dark place, lit only by crystals. The plants seem to be getting less and less common, until they’re gone, and it’s blue all around. The plants are probably making their way further and further. They were beautiful, but you’re glad to be out of them. You can pick up clues much easier without all of the plants covering everything.

 

            You keep walking. You walk and walk and everything looks the same, blue all around you, water everywhere, echo flowers every now and then. You cross a big bridge and Sans says that your near the exit of Waterfall.

 

            Then you feel something pulling at your chest. You put your hand to your heart, and it hurts to breathe in deep.

 

            “What’s wrong? What is it?” Sans asks.

 

            “It’s nothing, just keep walking. I think we might be close,” you say.

 

            You’re right.

 

            You walk through a cave, read a sign that says “WELCOME TO HOTLAND!”

 

            You see a stand that somehow has snow on the top off it, and what looks like a wooden bridge. The problem is that the bridge is worse than the bridge of doom. Halfway through it, it ends, seems like the rest of it was burned off by lava. There is lava everywhere, and in the distance, you can see that it’s devoured everything. There is a melted building if you squint hard enough. It’s a wasteland of lava, as far as the eye can see, and the heat is unbearable. You’re sweating, your chest still hurts, and you miss the rain.

           

            But you don’t miss it too much.

 

            Because you see Flowey on the tip of the bridge, with someone standing next to them.

 

            They’re dangerously close to the edge.

 

            You try to run, but Sans pulls you back.

 

            “You walk with me, stay close to me, and do _not_ run off on your own, get it?” he demands.

 

            “Yes,” you say. He’s right. You don’t think he can save you if you fall. It wouldn’t be a long fall, the lava would almost immediately absorb you.

 

            You hold his hand and walk fast to where Flowey and the stranger are, your chest hurting even more as you approach.

 

            The stranger is turned around. They have a green striped shirt on, and brown pants. You see that they’re holding Flowey from the stem, one of his petals missing, which throws you in a rage. One hand is hidden in front of them. Who _is_ this person?

 

            “Flowey!” you yell. You try to move more, but Sans stopped moving. You’re at the start of the bridge.

 

            “, we should go,” he says quietly. You can feel Sans’s urgentness.

 

            “What? Why?” you say angrily.

 

             “I don’t know, I have a weird feeling about this, it’s like… it’s like I know you’re not going to be okay after this…” He looks confused and he rubs his skull. You shake him off and ignore his rules from before. You’ll put yourself in danger if he’s just going to refuse to help you.

 

            “Who are you?” you call out. It might be a bad idea to run to them. They seem dangerous, and you still don’t know why they took Flowey.

 

            “…Really,? Don’t pretend you don’t know who I am,” they say.

 

            Why does that voice sound…

 

            So…

 

            “Greetings, .

 

            It’s me.

 

            It’s Chara.”

 

            They turn around to reveal a pale face and a calm smile, their red eyes focused on you. The hand is now behind their back.

 

            “The demon that comes when people call its name. It doesn’t matter when, or where, time after time, I will appear. And thanks to you…” they smile and laugh. “I’m _back.”_

You still feel the pull at your chest, but you hold yourself together.

 

            What’s going on.

 

            You’re frozen for a second. And then you’re very, _very_ conflicted about what to do.

 

            Demon? Is Chara what Frisk was talking about? No. Not a demon. A child. A lost, confused child.

 

            “Why do you resist? I want that soul, . Why are you keeping it from me?” they ask politely.

 

            Chara makes a motion with their hand and your body is pulled forward, away from Sans, who you turn to see running towards you. You shake your head at him. He stops, a look of disbelief on his face. You mouth _I got this,_ to him, and he angrily crosses his arms and waits.

 

            You’re face-to-face with your little sibling, who looks older than you remember, who looks completely fucking insane.

 

            Flowey isn’t saying a word.

 

            Chara gets on their toes and leans in to your ear.

 

            “ _Give it to me,. Give me the soul or I take Flowey away forever.”_

 

            You can hear Chara, but you ignore it. You take their shoulders and push them away from your ear. This isn’t exactly terrifying. This is, for you, a miracle. You don’t care what Chara is saying. They’re here. After all these years. They’re right here. You smile. You put your hand to their face. Check on Sans behind you. He gives you a small wave. He’s also being quiet.

 

            “Chara, I’m here. I can help you. I’m here, I found you… you don’t scare me, Chara. You need to come home. Where you belong.”

 

            They laugh again. This isn’t the reunion you imagined.

 

            “You were always so _stupid._ So _naïve._ Do you think you know everything? Please, answer me. I’ve always wanted to know. _”_

“…Chara…”

 

            “If you know so much, then what’s behind my back? Come on, you must know.”

 

            You back away closer to Sans, unsure if you should answer or not. They’ve never acted like this before. So calm and collected and… threatening.

They take their hand out from behind their back to reveal a knife. They put Flowey in front of them too, the relaxed but menacing smile sending chills down your spine.

 

            “This is your last chance. Allow your soul to come to me or I do as I must.”

 

            You hesitate.

 

            “Not sure? Well then. When I kill Asriel, how should I do it?” they say. Asriel? They lay the knife in front of their feet. They have their fingers holding on to one of Flowey’s petals. “Kill quickly…” they say as they pull of the petal, making you cringe and Flowey yelp. “… or kill painfully?” they say as they pull off another.

 

            “Chara, _stop_ it,” you command.

 

            “Quickly, or painfully?” they say again, taking two more off.

 

            You walk forward to grab Flowey from them, he’s crying out in pain, having his body be town apart like that. But as you move forward, Chara grabs the knife.

 

            “Don’t take one more step unless you release your soul.”

 

            You ignore the request. “Chara please listen to me-”

 

            But they refused. You feel the worst pain you’ve ever felt in your lower abdomen. Look down and the knife is there. Chara twists it, and you cough up blood.

 

            Flowey calls out your name desperately.

 

            You reach to him, still believing you can save Flowey, you can save both of them, but Chara pulls out the knife and inserts it again.

 

            That’s when you feel Sans’s magic all around you and you’re brought back to him. He leaves you behind him. He walks to Chara, who drops Flowey, Sans’s eye aflame with blue.

 

             “W-wait, Sans, pl-please…” you say. Blood flows from your mouth. You try to stand but that’s impossible at this point. The pain is the worst thing you’ve ever felt, worse than falling through the bridge of doom.

 

            You look up to see that Sans has his magic encased all around your little sibling and he’s holding them over the lava, threatening to throw them in.

 

            “I never really liked you, kid. You always had this look in your eye. You used Toriel. Tried to kill the king. And you know what the best part is?”

 

             San’s eyes go black.

 

            “ _None of them will ever come looking for you, and you’ll be stuck in this hell for the rest of time,”_ he says.

 

            You watch in horror as Sans impales them with a series of bones. Chara drops the knife and Flowey. They both land on the edge of the bridge.

 

            You close your eyes for a bit, heart beat slowing, the pull at your chest harder now than it was before. Your vision is blurred when you open your eyes again, but somehow Flowey is in front of you, stroking your face with his leaf.

 

            You smile.

 

            You speak, but not for too long.

 

            It’s your time to go.

 

            You know it.

 

            “Flowey, I’m so-” you cough between your words. “I’m _so sorry I couldn’t find you in time.”_

 

            “Not your fault. None of this is. It’s all _their_ fault. You have to understand that for next time. Stop being so forgiving. You see what they’re capable of. Don’t be so stupid next time, okay?”

 

            Next time?

 

            “, I’m not sure if this is going to work. But right now…” Flowey motions to Sans trying to kill Chara, the already dead soul. Chara is being torn apart by bones, but can’t die, because they’re dead. Even right now, Chara is dead. A dead, walking, demon.

 

            You _want so badly_ to save them.

 

            “Now,” he continues, “isn’t a happy ending. For anyone here. I hope you understand.”

 

            Suddenly, white pellets appear around you.

 

            Wait….

 

            Those aren’t pellets.

 

            Those are bullets.

 

            They attack you.

 

            Is Flowey doing this?

 

            “Flowey? FLOWEY what the FUCK are you doing?!” yells Sans. He drops Chara into the lava.

 

            The eye contact Chara makes with you as they sink is the last thing you see before you close your eyes.

 

            Sans runs over, trying to get to you.

 

            “It’s going to be okay,,” Flowey says.

 

            You get hit with another round of bullets and you feel life slip away from you…

 

            And then it comes back.

 

            You feel yourself float up above the scene.

 

            You see your lifeless body, Flowey, and Sans, all frozen.

 

            You’re flung backwards.

 

            You see all of the memories from the your time in the underground. Colors morphing together, the memories poofing away, but not for good, they’re still in your mind. You see yourself smiling, crying, holding onto sanity, helping Sans do the same, Flowey sleeping in Sans’s house.

 

           You’re feeling all of the things you’ve felt in this timeline all at once. Happiness, sadness, San’s feelings, your fear, the pain in your leg, the cold from the water, the heat from Hotland, the smell of the flowers, the despair at the news about your sibling, all over again, until you see yourself looking for your phone, reaching for that strange star, and you feel yourself being mystified by it’s warmth, you see Sans behind you preparing to scare you like he did when you first met officially, you see a nervous look on his face, and

 

_then_

_you_

_fall_

_into_

_yourself._

 

              You’re in Snowdin again.

 

              Your hand just slightly brushing the glow of the star.

 

              Your leg is fine.

 

              There’s no stab wound.

 

              But, suddenly, you are encased in Sans’s blue.

 

             “Wouldn’t do that if I were, you kid,” says a voice. It booms from behind you.

 

              You smile.

 

             He turns you around to see your smiling tears of joy falling down your face and he lets you go. Wait… you had a code word for this situation, right? What was it? Fuck something? Boy? Yes!

 

           “Boy, fuck!” you say.

 

            Something in San’s mind clicks. He looks amazed. His eyes get heavy too.

 

“Boy, fuck… you remember. You… _holy shit_ ,, you remember!” he says. You jump on him, and he catches you, spins you around, laughing, because you’re alive, and you’re safe, and he’s safe, and THANK FUCKING HELL YOU SAVED.

 

The wind from Snowdin is slowing you down, but you have San’s hand in yours, and you run back to his house as fast as you can, run up the stairs, and he’s there!

 

Flowey’s there! He’s safe! He wasn’t kidnapped!

 

You’re crying like a baby.

 

This is too much.

 

This is too good to be true, but it is. You saved over Frisk. You saved Flowey. You saved Sans.

 

You… avoided Chara. For now.

 

Your mind thinks back to Sans ruthlessly attacking Chara.

 

You let go of Sans and grab sleeping Flowey, who shrieks in shock. He doesn’t remember, it’s clear when he says that it’s only been 5 minutes and of course he’s safe, but he lets you hug him, and kiss his petals, and tell him you love him and you’re so glad he’s safe, and that he’s so smart, and you thank him as well. Sans is laughing behind you.

 

“Sans?” You say.

 

“Yeah, love?” he says.

 

“Can you teleport us to the surface by any chance?”

 

He nods. He brings you in close, and you hold Flowey between the two of you. You close your eyes and smile. Sans holds you tightly, rests his forehead against yours, and does his jumpy thing.

 

You see all the colors again.

 

And you don’t breathe.

 

And you try not to think of dying before.

 

And instead, you smile.

 

_Because you’re finally fucking safe._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> took a while to rewrite all that. taking a while to get the other chapters too. sorry guys, but ill have it all soon.


	15. Surfacing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ooo wee mamma

            You re-materialize at the top of mount Ebott. The sun is down. Oh yeah, that’s right. Time is back to the first day. This is going to be a weird story to tell your neighbor, but he’ll appreciate it.

           

            You hold Flowey in the mason jar. You try to explain what happened before to Flowey.

 

            He really doesn’t want to hear about it.

 

            He keeps making these cringing faces when you talk about your little sibling.

 

            “I don’t need your _idiot_ children’s stories,. Where are you taking me now?”

 

            “Is there anyone you know that you want to see? Sans might know where they are and we can take you to them. Any friends or family?” you ask.

 

            “Well… no,” he says.

 

            “Then I guess you’re coming with me, bud.” You realize that calling a flower “bud” might be like calling an adult “baby”. Was that appropriate to say?

 

            “ _Great,”_ he says sarcastically. You don’t know why Flowey can be so mean, but then so nice, with no reason to act either way. Especially towards you. He seems to resent you for something, you’re not quite sure what because you didn’t do anything to him. Maybe you’ll have a talk when you’re alone.

 

            Sans has his smiling face on, the fake one. Flowey is bitching about the mason jar being too small. You’re still really happy about the miracle before but… now what?

 

            What do you do about Chara now?

 

            You push the thought to the back of your mind.

 

            You reach the base of the mountain.

 

            “Where do you live, ?” asks Sans.

 

            “Just across town, it’s kind of a long walk,” you tell him. He nods.

 

            “I’ll walk you there. Is it cool if I hangout for a bit?”

 

            “Of course you can,” you say. You guess he has to get home.

 

           He nudges you with his elbow and you smile at him, wondering what it will be like sleeping again without those warm bones digging into your sides. It was uncomfortable, but sweet and safe.

 

            Although it is late, there are still people around. This is the human side of town. You get countless dirty looks from others near you. You overhear whispers of people who seem to despise monsters. You take Sans’s hand.

 

            “Disgusting. Those creatures should go back to where they came from,” says a stranger you pass.

 

            “Keep _perversions_ like that in your own home.”

 

             “No one should _defile_ themselves with one of those… _things.”_

 

            You try to turn around to stick up for the two monsters you are walking with but Sans’s arm stops you from turning around.

 

            “Doesn’t matter, sweets,” he says.

 

            You bite your tongue, and try to ignore the commentary along the way, the terrible slurs and laughter rip at your senses, you so badly want to turn around and snap at them but Sans won’t allow it.

 

            You turn onto your street. You point out your neighbors house to Sans and Flowey. It’s broken windows and overgrowth of shrubs and grass make you feel at home. After you pass the house, you arrive at your own home.

 

            “This is it,” you say, walking to unlock the door of your house. Sans and Flowey look around curiously, and you push open the door. You bring them to your couch and sit down, awkwardly ask if you can get either of them anything.

 

            They both say no, just as awkwardly, because here you are offering crackers after two people in the room just pretty much died an hour ago.

 

            “, Flowey already knows this, but you can’t tell anyone about what happened back there. Nothing. They’d all go crazy if they knew that their lives are in your hands. And it isn’t worth it anyway, because if you die again they won’t remember you explaining it,” says Sans bluntly.

 

            Flowey laughs. “Their _lives_? Who cares about their _lives_? You have their _souls_

.” He smiles freakishly. “You have _all the power in the world_ , were you going to mention that, Sans?” he asks. You wonder what that means.

 

            None of what Flowey says phases Sans. “My brother’s gotta be worried about me. I’ll come and see you tomorrow,” says Sans. You want to say goodbye but he stands up and disappears from the room.

 

            Is that really how he’s going to leave you? Jerk.

 

            Flowey seems to notice the unhappiness Sans’s leaving brought you.

 

            “Well, what were you expecting? Now that you’re on the surface, you go back to your lives right? Don’t ask for much from that guy. He’s not a very giving monster.”

 

            What Flowey said is somewhere between offensive and caring. It’s mostly insightful. You have no way of contacting Sans, other than dying which you don’t really want to do. You hope he doesn’t just walk out of your life. This isn’t like him. This is weird.

 

            You look at Flowey. His petals all attached to his body. Next to you. Everything you worked so hard for when you were looking for him, and now he’s right next to you, and its crazy to think that you didn’t even have to do _any_ of it. If you had just fallen through the bridge that day and died, Flowey would have never had to go through any of it.

 

            “Flowey… do you remember any of that?” you ask. Apparently, he’s the only one you can talk to about this, since Sans left. You have so many questions that Flowey could answer. Maybe. You’re really not sure what he does and does not know. You don’t have any other options other than to ask.

 

            No response from him.

 

            “You went missing, you know. Kidnapped. I looked all over every inch of the Underground for you.”

 

            He squints at you and then rolls his eyes. “Oh, I get it. You want me to thank you, right?”

 

            “… You saved my life, Flowey.”

 

            “Your _soul,_ stupid. You keep messing that up.”

 

            “So you do remember?”

 

            “I just know the difference between a soul and a life.”

 

            “…How did you know that killing me would save us?”

 

            He laughs big time. “You’re saying I _killed_ you? What a joke. What? Did you just stand there? Or did you fall for the friendliness pellets scam?”

 

            “If you’re mad about something I did you can tell me,” you say. You guess you have to be direct.

 

            “You wouldn’t understand.”

 

            “I… _could_ understand, if you let me try,” you plead.

 

            “You _can’t_ understand and you _never_ will so _stop. asking.”_

 

            It sounds like a warning. You think you should poke at him.

 

            “I… don’t have a lot of friends. But I want to help the ones I do have. I could help you, you know.”

 

            He makes eyes contact with you. “You know they called her Mom,” he says, in an as-a-matter-of-fact tone.

 

            “Who called her Mom?”

 

            “Chara. They called her Mom, or Mommy. And you know what else?”

 

            You feel your face getting hot.

 

            Flowey just laughs. “They never mentioned _you_.” You bite your tongue. Convince yourself not to take it personally. Flowey is just a socially… awkward kid. Doesn’t know how to act.

 

            But Flowey persists. “All they said about you _dirty humans_ is that you don’t care about anything but yourselves. And that you never really knew how to have any _fun._ But Chara loved Mom. Loved Dad. And they said so _every single night._ ”

 

            You take a deep breath.

 

            And Flowey takes that as an opportunity to keep going. “So… how did it happen? Did they just walk right by you and leave? Did you yell at them too much? Did you _hit_ them? I mean, if some ‘child’ runs away it must be because of how _horrible_ life at home is, right ? So how incompetent were you, exactly?”

 

            That would have been the last straw, but you look deeper into Flowey’s eyes. You see the snot-nosed expression he’s giving you, but behind that, you see fear and anger and loneliness and hopelessness. You see yourself 10 years ago, in pain. You see Sans crying that night you were drinking. Flowey is _just a lost child._ He’s not evil, you know it. He’s not simple enough to just be deemed as one thing. You might not know exactly what’s going on, but you can understand grief in general. He’s just trying to distract you from him.

 

            “Flowey.” You say.

 

            He just stares at you.

 

            “Flowey. Just talk to me. About you. And then I’ll tell you whatever you need to know.”

 

            He gets quiet.

 

He looks like he’s in shock, or just amazed, probably because he thinks you’re being stupid.

 

“Did Sans ever tell you about the things he did to those kids?”

 

Another distraction. You know it.

 

“You can talk to me.”

 

“Did you know Chara… liked… chocolate? And that Mom gave it to them? But chocolate is really unhealthy, you know…”

 

You don’t say anything.

 

“D…Doesn’t any of this annoy you?”

 

You don’t say anything.

 

Neither does he.

 

Then you notice his face….

 

Changing?

 

You watch in awe as Flowey’s face changes to something sweeter, more innocent. And that face cries a bit.

 

And then the face you already know comes back.

 

And he flips shit.

 

            “Just talk to you? Just _talk_ to you? About what? About being stuck in this plant? About your _stupid_ little sibling? About being four people at once and then none at all? What do you _want_ from me? What good do you think you’re doing, you idiot _human garbage!_ Just _shut up,_. You think you can understand? YOU CAN’T! You’ve only ever been one person! You don’t understand! You can’t make me feel _anything!_ I can’t feel _anything,_ you don’t understand! You never will! Go away! I hate you! I hate you!” Flowey yells. He has started sounding more and more like a fed up child. He’s crying. “None of this is real. None of it is. I never asked for this…

, even the worst thing, the _worst thing_ that’s _ever_ happened to you, doesn’t compare to _this._ ”

 

            The last sentence sounded different. Literally. Flowey’s voice sounded like someone else’s.

 

            “ _I never asked for this… I never wanted this…”_ he says slowly. But it doesn’t seem to be him. It seems like… wait.

 

            Chara called him Asriel.

 

            Maybe that’s… one of those four people? If you could reach out to that one, maybe it could do some good…

 

            “…Asriel?” you ask quietly.


	16. Alot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead if anyone was worried
> 
> Sorry i didn't update for a while. I got some junk going on. I'm out of college for the summer, so now i can write alot more. Get ready for more frequent updates nerds

             His eyes dart to you.

 

            “Where did _you_ hear that name…?”

 

            You don’t know what to say.

 

            Flowey, or Asriel, is looking at you deeply.

 

            “You… you would do anything for a friend, you said?”

 

            You nod.

 

            “. Do me a favor, okay?”

 

            You say nothing.

 

            “Take me outside.”

 

            It still sounds like not Flowey. You hesitate for a second, but then decide to take Flowey out.

 

            The air is crisp. It’s dark, but a few birds are chirping. It’s at the point where you can see the stars but the sun is going to come up soon. You sit on the cold, damp ground. Looking at the stars now, you realize that the sparkling stones on the walls of Waterfall were more beautiful.

 

            “Take me out of this jar, please, and put me on the ground.”

 

            You do as he says.

 

            He looks into your eyes.

 

            “I’ll… come back, okay? One day. Maybe even soon. But if I stay here… I might hurt you. I’ll come back. Trust me.”

 

            You want to ask why, but you don’t. You know you’re going to regret it. Why is he leaving when you just got him back?

 

            “Before I go I should tell you… just make sure you keep looking at yourself, okay? Notice the changes. You’re… changing. I mean…” he pauses. “…Don’t you wonder why you’re so okay with leaving Chara behind all of a sudden? Or… why you’re not trying to stop me…?”

 

            You don’t even move as Flowey sinks into the Earth beneath you, and disappears.

 

            You sit in silence.

 

            What’s happening.

           

            Getting to the surface was supposed to be a _good_ thing.

           

            Now, you’re just alone…

 

            Now you have to wait for Sans to visit you, and wait for Flowey to come back. You’re at the mercy of time.

 

            You stand up and walk in your home. It’s quiet. It’s late. You should get some sleep. You brush your teeth and stuff, and go to your bed to lay down. You fall asleep as soon as you shut your eyes.

           

***

           

            _You can tell when you’re dreaming now._

_You look around you. You’re in your room. It’s dark. You look down and see yourself sleeping on the bed next to you. Everything is foggy._

_You feel light in a way. Like you’re floating. You look down at your hands. They’re emitting smoke from the fingertips._

_“Something’s wrong.”_

_You whip around quickly to see Frisk again, the dream traveller._

_“What’s wrong?” You say. Again, your mouths aren’t moving. You’re communicating through telepathy._

_“You’re different. You…” Frisks face seems to be twisting and changing rapidly. You approach them on the other side of the room as they put their face in their hands. You kneel in front of them and take their hands away from their face, and you’re right. They did change._

_They have Sans’s face right now._

_“You’re becoming less of yourself, ,” they say, in their normal voice but with Sans’s face._

_They’re changing again. It seems to be painful for them. What do you do to help?_

_They look at you with a face you don’t recognize. The face of a goat like person. It looks stern and is wearing a crown, with a proud expression on its face but a clearly anxious look in their eyes._

_“You’re supposed to be dead. You were supposed to be taken care of.”_

_Another face is forming. You take Frisk’s hands, which are limp and weak in your own._

_“Ask him to summon your soul. Maybe you can see his too. Don’t you ever wonder what it looks like?” says a face that looks like it’s melting._

_Frisk comes back. “Something is very wrong here. It all seems a little too perfect…”_

_You look down at your hands again and they’ve completely evaporated. Your arms are puffing into smoke as well. The smoke seems to be taking your entire body, and just before it gets to your heart, you hear Frisk promise to meet you in person next time, that they’ll try their best to remember._

You wake up silently.

 

            It’s 2:00 in the afternoon. You slept in today. You wish you could just keep sleeping, and not have to think. You do your morning routine, get dressed, and eat some food.

 

           You hear knocking on the door.

 

           You stand up. Look out the window. It’s a nice day.

 

           You walk to the door and open it to welcome your guest, but you’re surprised when you see someone you haven’t met before. She towers over you, broad shouldered and grinning, red hair pulled back into a tight ponytail.

 

        “So Sans couldn’t get the job done by the deadline, huh?” she says.

 

        “Well our people have suffered enough. If you have any plans on making that suffering continue, I have to do what I must. But can you tell me something…?”

 

        You stare at her in silence, wondering if you should close the door or just be respectful and listen.

 

       “Is it fun? Is it fun for you to go power hungry, and be willing to risk the life of innocent people to get that power? Is that what gets you off? Well. Asgore told me enough about you, demon.” She her grin disappears. “This won’t be hard for me.”

 

       She summons a spear.

 

       Holy shit.

 

       That’s a SPEAR.

 

      Your eyes widen. What the fuck? Instincts kick in and  you slam the door. You fall backwards, just in time to see the spear pierce your front door, just missing your head by a inch.

 

      You hear a laugh outside the door.

 

      “Well… at least this’ll be _fun_.”

 

     You hear her summon another spear.

 

     You hope she didn’t hear you literally shit yourself just now.


	17. Run, run, run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i havent posted since april but i will DEFEAT DEPRESSION!
> 
> content warning for this chapter: graphic violence
> 
> anyone who's still reading, thank you for not giving up:)

Chapter 17

 

            Run. RUN. RUN! You pick yourself up before she can throw the next spear and dive behind a wall.

 

            Oh fuck. You hear her laughing more from outside the door. How sick is this monster? And why the hell didn’t Sans at least _tell_ everyone that you’re not the demon the monster king thought you were?

 

            You don’t want to fight. You do _not_ want to fight. If anything would prove that you’re a demon, it would be to put up a fight.

 

            “What’s wrong, human?” She kicks a hole through your door, big enough for her to fit through. “Too afraid to fight a monster?” You can feel your heart beating all the way up to your throat. That makes it hard to speak.

 

            “Who… Who are you?! I- I don’t want to fight!” you yell.

 

            She turns the corner to see you cowering behind the wall.

 

            “That’s too bad…” she says as multiple spears appear in a circle around you. “Cuz’ I do.”

 

            Your instincts and adrenaline kick in and you somersault backwards, avoiding her attack for the most part. You look down at your ankle and see a cut, its not too deep but the small amount of blood drawn seems to give her confidence.

 

            She knows she’s winning.

 

            You stand up as fast as you can and try running out the back door into your backyard. You pass the spot where Flowey said goodbye to you last night. If he was still here, maybe this monster would understand you better. Maybe she would see that you ventured back into the Underground and saved a monster life, and then she could actually listen to you.

 

            Instead, two spears form in her hands and she runs at you with an incredible speed. You keep your eyes ahead of you and focus on a running technique. You jump the fence behind the house, get to the sidewalk, and you’re headed in the direction of the Underground. To your left is the street. To your right are the woods. Maybe you can lose her going up the mountain. You run for a while, passing cars seem to ignore the situation or fail to notice it. It’s actually kind of funny. A fish monster is chasing you and no one even cares. Its like a sit com, where in the end everything is fine, but more likely than not… you’re probably not going to be spared.

 

            Queue the laugh track.

 

            You remember that running to the mountain would mean passing through the town of monster haters. That could save you, but it could hurt her. Shit. Apparently you care about that for some reason.

 

            You have to think of a place to go that wont put you or her in danger, but you can’t. You don’t know where Sans lives, you don’t want to run to a populated area, and you have no friends to hide you. You wish she would just listen to you.

 

            You try your best to keep your mind on your breathing and pumping your arms, but you can feel her just catching up to you now. She’s not saying much. You have to turn soon, running straight too long will allow her to catch you. You hear a grunt and instinctually turn right, into the woods. From the corner of your eye a spear just misses your torso.

 

            The woods isn’t the worst idea, at least it’ll be harder for her to hit you with the surrounding trees keeping you covered. But the problem is, it’s harder to run. Another grunt, and you see a spear split a small tree in half. Laughter. Is she just teasing you?

 

The adrenaline is wearing off. You’re sweating. You’re breathing is off. You haven’t eaten in a while and you’re weak, you have probably ran a good distance by now and your body knows it. You feel light headed. You dash behind a tree and stop running.

 

“Wait! I don’t want to do this! I don’t want to fight!” you scream. “Just listen to me, please!”

 

There’s silence. You hear her footsteps catch up to you, and then stop. She doesn’t seem tired.

 

“Fine.” She drops a spear.

 

This is your only chance to convince her that you’re not a demon. Better give it your best shot.

 

“I’m not a demon! Sans didn’t kill me because he figured that out for himself, after giving me a chance. I’m                      . Um… What’s…” You take a deep breath, and step out from behind the tree too look her in the eye. You lean against the bark, and look at your feet, avoiding any kind of eye contact hat may seem threatening. “What’s your name?”

 

“I’m Undyne.”

 

You smile. Maybe you’re breaking through to her.

 

Or maybe not. Because she summons another spear. And before you can even try to run away, she throws it at you, full force.

 

It takes a second for your mind to register that you’re pinned to a tree with a spear through your stomach.

 

But you can’t feel much, you just feel cold… and wet. You’re still looking down.

 

“Well, it was nice meeting you, I guess,” says Undyne. You hear her summon another weapon.

 

            As soon as you look up, she throws it right between your eyes.

 

            And just like before, life slips away from you.

 

            _And it comes back._

**Author's Note:**

> down you fall


End file.
